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Lilies ...

I noticed that
even in death
lilies held beauty,
arched to one side,
white petals
glistened in the light

There were poems
in their drooping folds.
I reached into a void.
They cascaded
onto my fingers,
draping velum
across my hands.

Words seeped
into my skin
filling my veins,
they flooded my form.
A thousand sighs of awe
fell from my lips.

In wonder I wandered
fretless into a
glowing night,
a flush of bumps
migrate over my body
I shivered anticipation.

Cool summer air
brushed my face
as I turned
to a bright sky
whose full glowing disc
haunted my eyes
with flickering glory

I closed my eyelids
as I found the poems
suddenly lodged
in my throat.
They spilled
from my mouth
and gushed
over a silent
empty field.

I stood still
for moments,
maybe hours,
eyes shut,
lips moving,
mind unpeeling.

Opening my eyes
in the witching hour
I had finally
become free of words
and in astonishment
discovered that
even in death
lilies had found
lustre in the
long grass.

Through me
they had floated free
into another blush
inspiring the hopeless
with the gift
of a night in word.

Now eternally flowering
they will forever
curl their leaves
within my rhyme.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Second edit I have partly dealt with the punctuation thanks for the help :), I am going to go through it in the next edit and try to change some words to words that may work better or give better imagery/meaning etc.
Editing stage: 

Comments

The rhythm of this write held me captive which created the mild scent of the lillies, the feel as soft as their texture and as pure as their color and the flow as gentle as the brook. It is hard to pick which stanza is better than the others, but for me this one profiles your state of mind and how well you have connected with the lillies

I closed my eyelids
as I found the poems
suddenly lodged
in my throat
they spilled
from my mouth
and gushed
over a silent
empty field

thank you for posting this and connecting with nature which I believe will surely do you a world of good

hugs...raj

raj (sublime_ocean)

I am really happy that you liked this one I wasn't sure it I had pulled it off I really tried to express the feelings and thoughts that came with the lilies, this is as rough a draft as you will get from me I wrote it and posted it without punctuation, nothing lol, the real work is to come in improving it.

thank you so much for your wonderful thoughts they made me smile

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

ive seen you write in this style form before
i read fast....add and the quick pick up of
the scan......because i cant sit still
ADD
all that...

so i love to have the
impact that the words use
like a train journey or car trip
fast with all the input..the
sea of illusion
light shadow
scenery in that hypnotic
flow

and the feelings expressed
in simalar rushs..

liliies are fragrant and beautiful
also...

lush and stark in their greenery

we have great gardens up here
in our city tended by diligent volunteers
and staff.....some of the more gruffer
of people in the past.....

everyone finds their serendipity
somewhere...

thank you...

I am so happy that the mood and the images that were in my mind conveyed themselves to you so well, I am trying to write other things this workshop gave me a reason to reach out and pluck a poem from the ether, I seem to be a endless flow of words they just keep pouring out the last couple of weeks I have so many rough drafts of poems, It will take me a month to clear them all to be posted.

Lilies and Orchids are my favourite flowers their soft quiet beauty has always spoken to me of many things sadness, grief, joy, in my life they have come to represent so many different memories and feelings that have built up over the years so they are good and bad, they are beauty in sadness and joy in their exquisite simple forms and yet they are complex, maybe a little like me lol

thank you for your thoughts as always they are very much appreciated

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I was drawn back to this one when I noticed that you have posted this in the workshop, which would obviously mean that it would undergo edits. Personally I feel that this should be left as it is because even if there are areas to edit in the literal context, sometimes beauty lies in the wilderness or shall I say perfection in imperfection...of course these are my personal thoughts...

raj (sublime_ocean)

I wrote this yesterday I did it in one sitting I didn't change any lines I didn't check for spelling mistakes [which killed me I have to admit] haha !

It gives me such joy that it appealed to you as much as it did thank you for your thoughts they are always appreciated.

the thing is can I make it even better ? yes I can, big smile.

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

First read! - stunning! ( but it's late and I'm tired so I'll get back to you tomorrow ) I'm looking forward to the re-read.

Love Mand xxxxx

Very thoughtful of you to end a day with lilies with a promise to be greeted by them again come morning..

raj (sublime_ocean)

Nice thoughts to go to bed with and then blooming the new day!

Love Mand xxxxx

I am going down the list so I will see if you've returned yet lol, I am so happy you liked it.

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

There was no punctuation. :(

I've learned to live with this, reading poems that have no punctuation to serve as guides when the poem begins a new thought mid-stanza. For the sake of this workshop, I'll bring it up. Was it deliberate, leaving out all punctuation, or do you write without paying much attention to them?

I'll confess I was captured by the imagery throughout the poem. It's good, really good. I only found the last verse odd...you mention "rhyme", in a poem that does not rhyme. lol It's only the irony I find odd...

would "verse" be a better alternative?

Forgive me for being picky, Jayne, but this bit here

"...I found that
even in death
lilies had found..."

you repeated "found". I thought it will read better if you replaced "...I found" with "discovered", like

"opening my eyes
in the witching hour
I had finally
become free of words
and in astonishment
discovered that
even in death
lilies found
luster in the
long grass"

But this is an absolutely nice poem :D

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

I tried to follow the rules as I thought them, to post the roughest draft, this was as I said above as rough a draft as you will ever get from me I wrote it read it once and posted it, I am glad you pointed out the found I will make sure I change it, I like your suggestion I will give it some attention in the edits

[I'll confess I was captured by the imagery throughout the poem. It's good, really good. I only found the last verse odd...you mention "rhyme", in a poem that does not rhyme. lol It's only the irony I find odd...]

I wanted to express irony when I wrote rhyme, it was an intentional word choice for the moment I will keep it but I will review it as the editing processing goes along

I am so happy with everyone's reactions to my first draft its really got me chuffed but I will be working on it and inserting punctuation were its suggested or I think its needed

thanks so much for your generous review I really appreciated it

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

A burst of expression fed from your thoughts, cascading over the page giving us our Jayne back again.
A sadness yes, but a beauty held at the tip of a quill that has leaked words from the heart, onto virgin papyrus..
Not much at this stage to critique.
Lovely to have you back again,
Yours as always, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I am still unsure where this one came from, I looked at a picture of lilies I have on the wall I went out into a beautifully moonlit night [there is still a full moon here tonight though its so damn hot I'm cooking] and the first idea for the poem came to me I came inside and this is what came out next

I guess its still a little sad but its a lot different to the recent things I have been writing and a good step in the right direction, I am far from myself but I am going through the motions as best I can

I am happy you liked it

love as always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Locked away in your memories from when you were a child I expect is a saying from the Bible In the King James Version, the text from Matthew 6:28 reads:-
And why take ye thought for raiment?
Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow;
they toil not, neither do they spin:
Maybe a memory came floating through, some of the writers of old sometimes quote this, I shall have to send another writer helper this one is quoting the Bible lol.
Take care have a lovely day out there,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Big Big Smile, There are beautiful verses etc. in the bible I am not religious (though I have my belief) but I have found some very appropriate verses in the bible that have been how can I say it, comforting...

much love always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

... I would only deal with a technical proofread and the poem's vocabulary, but since I could fault neither I will go slightly elsewhere.
First I have to agree with William that the lack of punctuation makes me nuts. However, this is a style decision and though I despise it, I cannot fault it. This is the poet's choice. I will say that this poem works better than most without punctuation...
but it still makes me gonzo.
Last I will defend the last line. I loved it. Yes, I call that irony that you would use the term in a poem that does not rhyme, but more than that... it is what we call a "mind rhyme". We are expecting you to say "mind" and then receive "rhyme". The assonance between "mind" and "rhyme" is not lost on me either.
I will have more to say concerning this poem as the workshop progresses, but I'm trying to stay "on message" so to speak.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I knew my lack of punctuation would drive some of you a little insane but I have said above and I will say I wrote it read it and posted it I didn't change anything I didn't insert any punctuation at all so that I could show how I use it [when I do use it that is], I am Spartan sometimes in my use of it but I am learning as I go along that its very important tool to use, thanks for finding the time to review I look forward to your thoughts as we progress and edit our poems

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Lilies are my favorite flower :) I thought the flow of this poem was very good and the message was strong. Using lilies as a symbol of strength, even in grief, was elegant and meaningful. As far as punctuation, I never used it much and am still learning how to use it appropriately in poetry. None the less, your poem was wonderfully done as always.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Lilies and Orchids are my favourite flowers we have something in common, As to the punctuation he he I deliberately didn't insert anything when I wrote it, I thought it would be good to show how I use it and get suggestions from the others as to where they think its needed, I am like you and still a bloody mess when it comes to punctuation, I usually read it and insert where I think line breaks, pauses and stops are needed

I am very very happy you liked it hun thanks for your review and kind words they are always appreciated

much love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

They are four feet tall and as varied as poets.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Poppies are another favourite of mine, they remind me of my grandfather they are very beautiful

JC x

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

This is a truly stunning poem! I loved the imagery and the message and as Raj rightly said my pillow was perfumed with dreams of lilies!

I have a couple of suggestion, for you to mull over.

Stanza two, line 3 and 4

they reached into my void
and cascaded. I wondered if that would work better! - only a thought.

Stanza four

Fretless I believe has a hyphen fret-less

Stanza seven - last line

I wondered if "unveiling" would be better than "unpeeling.

Stanza eight - line nine

luster - spelt lustre

Just a couple of observations and suggestions.

Your poem is a sculpture of beauty.

Love Mand xxxxx

I have been slightly overwhelmed with the response to this one, it was a bolt from the blue and I wasn't sure I had totally pulled off the atmosphere I was trying to create now to cover the points you raised.

[Stanza two, line 3 and 4
they reached into my void
and cascaded. I wondered if that would work better! - only a thought.]

When I wrote that line the image in my head was of a hand reaching into the petals and into the black spaces between so for me the void fits better but I will give your suggestion some thought when I attempt my first edit

[Stanza four
Fretless I believe has a hyphen fret-less]

fretless is one word I checked in Google and in my dictionary and I was pretty sure anyway as I play a little guitar smile.

[Stanza seven - last line
I wondered if "unveiling" would be better than "unpeeling.]

I think given the mindset of the poem for me unpeeling like the layers of an onion reducing down to nothing as the words begin to cease was my meaning, I think I will keep unpeeling in this instance for me it speaks of many things and unveiling wasn't what I was going for, but thank you for the suggestion I may change my mind lol I have a tendency to it;)

[Stanza eight - line nine
luster - spelt lustre]

Luster | Define Luster at Dictionary.com
dictionary.reference.com/browse/luster‎
the state or quality of shining by reflecting light; glitter, sparkle, sheen, or gloss: the luster of satin.

lustre - definition of lustre by the Free Online Dictionary, Thesaurus ...
www.thefreedictionary.com/lustre
4. a substance used to polish or put a gloss on a surface.

I was going for luster in this instance

Thank you for your very kind review it was very much appreciated I will be doing an edit when the workshop indicates its time to move onto the next stage and I will definitely give your suggestions some thought

much love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Well! if nothing else I've learned a few things. Lol

Your poem is perfect as it is!

Love Mand xxx

I am loving this workshop I have learnt much myself already, and this is far from perfect I have yet to do an edit it does need some punctuation but I am waiting for the go ahead to start the next phase of the shop

much love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Though both "fretless" and "lustre" can be spelled both ways. I prefer not to use hyphens when possible simply because they are ugly (see my newest conversation about making our poems attractive to look at) and I prefer "lustre" for the same reason. It just looks cooler.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I don't like hyphens they are ugly and I try to avoid them as well, I haven't had time to do an edit this weekend I got tied up packing and cleaning this has been my first opportunity to get online and write at my leisure I will think on lustre mmmm it doesn't have the same meaning though eh ?, I will give it some thought tonight I am going to go over everyone's suggestions and make a first edit to post tomorrow night the last few days time has been sparse

thanks for your input I will take it all into mind

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I think the meaning is the same.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I thought they meant different things in my take of them I will take another look tomorrow/today its been a long week I haven't had time to do my first edit I will submit it later today when I have had time to finish it

love JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

It could be like the word center - spelt centre in Britain. ( sorry bout causing all this trouble - if ever you see me in person you can kick me up the butt ). Lol

Keep safe - what ever you chose it will be right! it's down to cosmetics.

Love Mand xxx

I have bowed to the pressure and I have to agree lustre does look way cooler even if my dictionary on the computer still brings it up as a misspelt word HAHA !!

first edit completed I will return to this in a few days

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I use so many uncommon, rare, archaic and obsolete words in my poetry that every page is covered in squiggly red lines. Don't feel bad.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

My favourite dictionary is a Blackie's Standard Shilling Dictionary, its over a hundred years old its getting harder to read it the print is getting very faded I am trying to find a copy in better condition, they are very hard to find where I come from, I think it maybe my favourite because I am always surprised when I read through it there is always a 'new' old word I haven't heard before

I never feel bad about steering towards better poetry

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

When people don't include something about the workshop in the title it makes it hard for folks to see it's a shop poem without reading it first. Hence my late entry. I'll return later this evening.........stan

It's much easier to use this link http://www.neopoet.com/workshop/view/13516

.

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

So sorry hun I didn't realize I had to do it I will change it when I post my first edit tomorrow night I look forward to your further thoughts when you get time

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

'''''I noticed that
even in death
lilies held beauty
arched to one side
white petals
glistened in the light....''''

this refreshes
and
brings back to my mind

''Lilies* for Mummy''

*glistened in the light------------ur words ...

placed on the roof
of the car.
by Willy and Harry
during her final sojourn

ere she was laid to
final peaceful rest

loved

I remember it well my friend it was a poignant moment I was always an admirer of Diana and was deeply moved when she died I believe most of the world was affected by her death, I cant ever remember a time quite like that time in my life, she left such a huge gap in our lives, her sons have moved on with their lives, she would be chuffed to see her first grandchild and her eldest married its such a shame

thanks for your thoughts on my effort

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

As all poems (even workshop poems) are posted in The Stream, you are of course welcome to comment. I wish though you would join us in one of these things and immerse yourself in all of the subjects at hand.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I do
but wonder why you gave me up
haven't had a word from you
since eons

loved

unless they're in a workshop. I have little time these days, but that's probably a good thing.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

Many who have alot of time these days. This workshop fell at a good time for me as I have been on a writing hiatus.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I know what you mean about time this weekend I have been very time poor, but I am making as much time as I can for this workshop it is one that has really appealed to me

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

Alot of editing this weekend...in between the kids fighting and being temperamental. I.think the poem I did came out good for a change. It will never be great but it's good.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I am just getting my mind back into poetry mode I am just reading and commenting at the moment I will take a look at your edit tomorrow night and see where your taking your poem, its a good poem hun and I know with some work it can be a great poem all poems have that capacity in my mind they just need to be pushed in the right direction

I have had my hands full this weekend this has been my first opportunity to get any real time online without having to run off and do something else

take care hun

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

The first thing I'd like to suggest is that you consider putting this poem in present tense. Instead of telling about the past, this would put the reader right beside you as the tale unfolds...just an idea.
The next thing is using at least a bit of punctuation where you evidently intend the readers to pause.
"in wonder I wander".......I Really Really like this line
Stanza 4, lines 4 and 5 try:
a flush of goose bumps
flock (or migrate) over my body
S-5, l-5 change "the" to "whose"
S-6,last 2 lines consider combining them : over a forlorn field (a bit of alliteration)
As always, these are just alternatives.............stan

Its funny you should suggest having it in present tense I actually wrote it that way and as I went through changed it, I will give all your suggestions some note today when I finalize my first edit, thanks for taking the time to read and give your thoughts they are very much appreciated

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

This piece has been sailing around for a few days and I had a niggly thing about the lilies, this morning it came to me from way back consider the lilies of the field so I had to go look it up as I thought your picture may have triggered an old poem or something, then the research found it, and it is of biblical proportions lol, a memory from many years ago when as a child I use to attend a church so that Mum could cook the Sunday dinner..
There it was in its simplicity, not only did it give a reason for not worrying about apparel, but also a double meaning where it talks about a natural process that the mind will go through, so here is three translations of that passage from

Matthew chapter 6 verse 28

English Standard Version
And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin,

New American Standard Bible
"And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,

King James Bible
And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:

You can see this very old statement can be about many things when taken out and used as a separate item..
That will do Ian, it is Sunday but put the box away and wish the lady from down under a peaceful day, OK OK
Take to yourself the quiet of a forest there wander and know that all the ones that love you are just a thought away, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I know that verse, you see I used to teach Sunday school, a lifetime ago, hard to believe I know !! I am pleased that my lilies brought you to this its funny how the poem reminded you, and now on another read I can see another poem in my mind another lilies but not lilies so to speak.

I have had a quiet day writing and pottering around the house its Australia Day here I didn't celebrate this year I watched the news and watched everyone else LOL !! Next year I will get into the spirit I just didn't feel like it this time.

Its a beautiful cool night here the Cicada's are singing their heads off, but underneath all that its peaceful and calm I am soaking in it apparently the next week is going to be a scorcher I am not looking forward to it ...

You take care up there be well and I will talk to you soon

love always JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

I used common convention as my guide. Nothing fancy.

I noticed that
even in death
lilies held beauty,
arched to one side, (This is parenthetical.)
white petals
glistened in the light. (A complete sentence.)

There were poems
in their drooping folds.
I reached into a void. (Two complete sentences.)
They cascaded
onto my fingers,
draping velum
across my hands.

Words seeped
into my skin
filling my veins.
They flooded my form. (Again, a complete sentence requiring a period.)
A thousand sighs of awe
fell from my lips.

In wonder I wandered
fretless into a
glowing night,
a flush of bumps
migrate over my body.
I shivered anticipation

Cool summer air
brushed my face (You need no comma here.)
as I turned
to a bright sky
whose full glowing disc
haunted my eyes
with flickering glory.

I closed my eyelids
as I found the poems
suddenly lodged
in my throat. (Complete sentence. That is mostly what you are missing.)
They spilled
from my mouth
and gushed
over a silent
empty field. (Typo here.)

I stood still
for moments,
maybe hours, (Parenthetical.)
eyes shut,
lips moving, (This requires commas because it is a "list" of phrases.)
mind unpeeling,

opening my eyes
in the witching hour (No need for the comma.)
I had finally
become free of words
and in astonishment
discovered that
even in death
lilies had found
lustre in the
long grass.

Through me
they had floated free
into another blush (no comma. See I use less also based on tradition.)
inspiring the hopeless
with the gift
of a night in word.

Now eternally flowering
they will forever
curl their leaves
within my rhyme .

Of course it could be done differently, but I am a stickler for "common convention" and punctuate the way an English teacher would tell me too. It's a curse, but I use it. I hope this gives you some ideas.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

I went over all your suggestions and bar one I used them all, see what you think I am just about to post my edit

thank you for taking the time to show me how it can be done, its much appreciated

love JC

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

What a stunner! This poem is just beautiful, I am speechless - you've done a great job.

LOve Mand xxxxxxxx

I am not done yet I just finished my second edit and I plan to go over it and change a few words etc. in the next edit :) I am also keeping a suggestion in mind that Stan made above I am still thinking I like what he's suggested but there is one part I am going to keep so I am trying to mix the two but not change meaning lol Its not as easy as it sounds

love and hugs JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

author comment

My reading.
Please forgive faults and errors,
I'm trying to do a reading for everyone in the workshop.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0Db5CKeKojG

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I can honestly say I could listen to you reading all night, you have a beautiful reading voice hun

thanks so much for the read it made my day

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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