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Inspiration.......(edit ....thanks all)
Inspiration,
is the spring board of poetry
I learned it
after decades of digging
in the temples
where poetic Lords reside
the ones like you
happy for you
and
of course
my dear
I thank you
Stan and I once wrote
about our many dawns
we passed together
in the age -less -ness of time,
eternity and poetry
My mind now saturates*
poetically
it's been eons since
*replace saturates
as you will
into it's implications
as still
as Zeroness
will fulfill
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
scribbler
Mon, 2014-01-13 16:24
hi loved
I expect raj will be pleased with this. Hmmm.....I think saturates isn't exactly what you mean though.......stan
loved
Mon, 2014-01-13 22:13
I now realize how difficult it is to change a simple word I
i knew saturate may not be acceptable hence help me chose one please u or raj any
I now realize how difficult it is to change a simple word I
destroy (dɪˈstrɔɪ)
vb (mainly tr)
1. to ruin; spoil; render useless
2. to tear down or demolish; break up; raze
3. to put an end to; do away with; extinguish
4. to kill or annihilate
5. to crush, subdue, or defeat
6. (intr) to be destructive or cause destruction
eterminate... brain dead destroyed ... rendered useless etc etc etc
SOS ......ANYONE OUT THERE R U LISTENING ??????
loved
scribbler
Tue, 2014-01-14 00:09
Ok here
are alternatives you can smoke over : dissapates , evaporates , erodes, degrades, detonates, terminates....I expect there are many others. You might try checking your thesaurus for others I've not thought of........stan
Ian.T
Tue, 2014-01-14 04:05
Loved
saturate is quite a good word to indicate that a thing is full usually for someone that has been very wet or saturated by rain a wet thing lol
My mind now brimming
poetically
it's been ages
Not sure what else to put there are several words like full, topped up,
as we deal with many words I will leave it up to you, good write though when you bring in a persons name it makes it personal therefore restricting the pieces use.
Take care young Bard, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Tue, 2014-01-14 09:00
Hello Loved
I went through this one and made some suggested changes you don't have to use them
they are as always just suggestions
Inspiration is the spring board of poetry --- I would remove "any"
I learned it after decades of digging
in the temples
where poetic gods reside
like the ones like you --- "the ones like you" I would remove the first like
happy for you
and
of course
my dear
I thank you
Stan and I once wrote
about our many dawns
we passed together
in the age -less -ness of time,
eternity and poetry
My mind now saturates --- " my mind is now saturated" just how I would say that line
poetically
it's been ages --- " its been an age" just another thought
I think this is a lovely tribute to Raj
love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
mand
Tue, 2014-01-14 10:27
Hi Loved
This is a lovely poem and a great tribute to Raj. I think Jayne's suggested edit's would be the icing on the cake!
This one is one of your best!
Love Mand xxxxxxx
loved
Tue, 2014-01-14 11:22
Thank you all above.....shall revert
hold on don't go away
''zeroness ''
may stay
loved
raj
Tue, 2014-01-14 14:18
Hi Loved
Hi Loved
how about this?
My mind now spins
in a void of
esoteric allusions
Not sure if it works well with what you have in mind...
cheers!
raj (sublime_ocean)
loved
Tue, 2014-01-14 14:52
U R ENGLISH IS CLASS
I want to say
that my mind does have no more capacity
to compose any more originals
finish kind
r u sublime
in the Indian ocean?
Bombay or where
loved
loved
Tue, 2014-01-14 14:54
U R ENGLISH IS CLASS
I want to say
that my mind does have no more capacity
to compose any more originals
finish kind
r u sublime
in the Indian ocean?
Bombay or where
loved