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Bits of Yesterday

Submitted by William Saint George on Fri, 2013-12-27 16:31

I was told there was a time
when friendships
mended broken things,

so what truth is there
in all these unexpected conclusions?

You might be the most
adequately fashioned,
but no ticking clock ever held the
mastery of time;

what are we today,
if not fragments of all
we ever were.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rula

Sat, 2013-12-28 13:21

Rula's picture
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There is tenderness and some sense of wisdom in your writing lately William which is really fine.
I thought the last few lines would read better if put as a statement rather than a rhetorical question but of course it's your poem and you know better.
Thanks for sharing.

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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William Saint George

Sat, 2013-12-28 17:14

William Saint George's picture

Yes, Rula. A lost friendship. I'm still coming to terms with it. That has inspired most of my recent poetry (with the exception of just two, on my poem blog)

I like your suggestion on the last line. Thanks so much!

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

author comment

raj

Mon, 2013-12-30 14:03

You had me thinking William "about what are we today?" thanks for tickling my mind...one needs such tonic from time to time...

raj (sublime_ocean)

William Saint George

Mon, 2013-12-30 14:47

William Saint George's picture

Then my work was done. It was my intention to stimulate such thinking. Thanks for reading

No verse is free for the man who wants to do a good job. - TS Eliot

http://www.wsgeorge.com/

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