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The Dance

Submitted by vandiemenspeak on Sun, 2013-12-01 18:15

There are those who sit
at the edge of the dance,
watching the whirl
of the living

Hub and spoke
Spoken wheel

The dance lingers
in their hearts
Years beyond
the fiddlers last draw.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words: 
Just a short piece of free verse that I've been tinkering with.
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

mand

Fri, 2013-12-20 16:46

mand's picture
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This one is thought provoking! What I got from it was Don't be an observer - get involved and live life or you will regret it in your old age. Wise advise! The title "if my interpretation is correct" sum's up the poem - Life is like a dance, we can be part of it or sit and be an observer!

Interesting to read and contemplate.

LOve Mand xxxx

vandiemenspeak

Wed, 2013-12-25 04:30

vandiemenspeak's picture
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Pretty much what I was trying to achieve! Thanks and merry Christmas/holidays/whatever you're up to. The centrally located couple of lines were contrived that way, to convey the wheel in both the rotating sense, and the the 'wheel' perhaps still danced in certain places.

All the best :)
Chris.

Chris Hall - Tasmania

Grossbooted draymen rolled barrels dullthudding out of Prince's stores and bumped them up on the brewery float. On the brewery float bumped dullthudding barrels rolled by grossbooted draymen out of Prince's stores.

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