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The Spring Tide

Submitted by emogothgirl on Mon, 2011-12-19 08:45

waxing and waning
push and pull
daylight is fading
the moon is full
a pinprick of starlight
from behind her eye
starts to glow
as she starts to cry
her tear in the tide
would not make a wave
for if she is nothing
she's nothing to save
go down to your destiny
to the ocean floor
take a deep breath
and sigh no more.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
kind of creepy, but i like it.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

Ian.T

Thu, 2013-12-19 19:11

Ian.T's picture
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A sad poem, that has been here for two years without comment.
It flowed and gave a message of sadness, I hope by now you are much happier lol.
You take care now it is the holidays maybe we can enjoy more of your writing,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

emogothgirl

Wed, 2013-12-25 12:53

emogothgirl's picture
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I will say I am much happier now. and I totally forgot about this poem. Thank you for reminding me.
thanks again,
mag

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