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Will you be mine

Will you be mine
you draw from my lips’ wine
like divine
you feel my face
with a soft trace
my lips wet as I do too
as you are about to come all over

come be mine this night
let me make you feel at home,
as your fingers I taste
you bend on your knees with grace,

then we all just in imagination play
as if in dreams we were ever so gay
the birds flock around
as you become all mine,
be mine and know
I will forever be yours
to glow

the music does play
we say come in my way
be mine tonight like always
then love we shall as usual grace
be wet, all wet all over today
be mine I say
the birds come and fly away
be mine just for another today

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

2300 years ago The Song of Songs began something like this ( book of Psalms ) . Look it up . it's still fresh one one's ear and is said to enchant every woman it's recited to.
Jimm

THANKS FOR THE 23OO YEARS OLD REFERENCE ...U MUST BE VERY LEARNED
you could do a better service
by pointing out errors and improvements
rather than summarize the way u have
thank you

loved

author comment

There's no point. Just read the psalm.
Jimm

You could read the thoughts of Loved they are more up to date than a history book from that long ago,
I shall look in the book of Enoch to see if there are relevant lines in there as it was left out of the Bible as a few other books were but the songs of David will never fix your love life..
Good write there Young Bard and you have enough sense to know when comments are about the form of your poetry..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I ignore him
as much as I did
the other him...
you know it...

some are know all
know
FA....

They have their own problems
I told him
I have removed him from my list
still he persists

let AEC take care of it

loved

author comment

Enough is enough, I have now put in an official complaint, just have to wait and see what happens.
Beau it seems has left the site, if this is correct then the loss to Neopoet is great.
Take care young Bard will keep you informed, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

high time Neopoets woke up

loved

author comment

Listen to old butterfly he has great technique and critique to offer oh and reading advice. Lots of reading helps, especially in English. Beauregard has taken advice and sought pastures new, good for Beau.
Jimm

It was OK, but the obvious rhymes got on my nerves somewhat. i also found it a bit clichéd, to be honest with you.

I am just no poet
only off the cuff type
thanks for ur gracious thoughts
ma'am

loved

author comment

and eliciting comments? Surely it's the comments you are seeking and it seems only accept when they are favorable to your needs. Not only to you write badly, without subtlety , originality or grammatically but you insist on posting some of the worst sex oriented imagery i have ever come across. It's plain and simple childish toilet daub no better than a 14 year old's filthy imagination with neither art or poetic quality. Why will no one tell you on this site? Why do they insist on bolstering your pathetic ego and commenting on your scribbles as if they have any merit whatsoever? Lady or not your writing doesn't deserve to see the light of day let alone be exposed to the world.
Jimm

ur sick
on other sites 700 read me daily
and none use ur dirty stick
stay away i warn you
u know FA
only clamour for glamour

decency demands you stay 1000 miles from me
i told u i have removed u from my list
many have seen ur scorn
u know fa that's all

loved

author comment

You are in violation of site guidelines. As chair of the Administrative Council I am ordering you to remove all of your remarks from this poem and cease all communications with loved. Stan Holliday

I had made a simple request earlier when I removed him from my list
.Hope he bears with you

loved

author comment

Seriously? I am in breach of guidelines - where that doc' does it say "refrain from passing qualitative comment, pander to self deceit, patronize and sustain crude schizoid imagery that makes one laugh out in contempt "
Jimm

Please review the community guidelines which can be found in the "help" section which requires member to treat one another with respect.

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