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Vacant Spaces

I sit here listening with my eyes.
Why I ask myself, do I watch for you.
How did I reach this point of doing?
I cannot shout at you to make you hear

You have become a number to me
I have lost faith with this system
Where are you that you don’t look for me?
I am a tap of the keys from your eyes

Damn this vacant place with no feelings
Yet you want me to know you are there
Speak to me then with gentle touches,
My eyes will stir, my soul will seek for you

I know you each day and then more
In your tapping and pasting I am sure
Then I will reach out touching your ways,
Finding empty places, do I waste my days?

My time here is short and with your words,
I will touch many friends across the worlds
Why then can’t you see it is me here?
I am known by a few names, very clear!

Give it a try and send something to me
I have plenty of time and my talk is free
But I will have to leave you to wend my way.
So hurry up and talk to me today

PS:-Will make this into a poem one day,
When thoughts of you all, just fade away.
So think of me after those empty ends,
Yours, Ian.T - Yenti - Sparrow and friends

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Just a thought of who will miss who ?????
Editing stage: 

Comments

you are right to question though...
sometimes the musings seem distant
in my case especially...

the Lah of the LAh lands..

\i like that your poem is more outward
in its longing for contact of some kind
\I remember when we used to write longhand..
or typed letters...

we still try to leave little notes today
and in exhanges it is rapid with the
elkectronika devices more and more
present..

today i had to take a shopping list
via a cellphone....a first

it felt very strange
but it went well..

there are many people i over look
or over shoot as i call it
time seems to be the excuse
but sometimes it is a personal
choice to avoid contact and the
lengthy come see come saw
required....and the uncomfortable
moments sometimes which we
used to face and now with the
easier jolt driven choices of
immediate satisfaction we neglect
the more creative and interesting..

we are all different...we all have unique
voices and perspectives
lately i am very caught up with the
lives of a few people
time schedule i have no sense of
i just make it to put up replies
and then dash off.....

but we all thrive on that attention
even the cacti needs some enlivening
from the sky to bloom its flowers

here this evening before i finish a
painting for a christmas contract
settling myself before the task to
sit and pore over neo

thank you for making me think
about these things Ian..

Mr Esker

Thank you very much for coming in and talking, your key taps reached out to my eyes
And as the poem says touched my soul.
It is a modern day wonder that we can talk to others this way.
You are always welcome to sit and tap keys with me.
Broadly speaking, it is also addressed to those that just sit and tap their keys, and not let the others touch their eyes.
Are we mostly afraid that we may upset others, if we comment on the words seen..
I fear it is more of a self oriented thing, where it is fine to talk to others providing that they only listen.
I can't picture you there painting a picture for Christmas, but there is a deep philosophical side of you we rarely see, the thoughts that run with your Spirit, deep and unattached to what most can see.
Your poetry is sometimes hard to comment on as that Spirit of yours runs as the deer free on the mountainside.
Thank you for drawing near, great to talk,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Most days I think I could vanish and no one would wonder where I went, no one would notice or feel frightened that something bad happened. I float in and out of vacant spaces. Eyes that overlook me as though I am wholly invisible...ears that don't hear me because my words aren't important enough to be heard....I like the flow and rhyme as well as the somber, reflective tone to the piece..Good write

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

It is always a pleasure to be able to talk to you and you are missed as the vacant days stream by, time that man made thing seems precious to me as I reach out toward the end of this journey.
I write, then there is a silence that would crush the spirit if I didn't have many other things to do, but I miss the ones I talk to, as they are part of me in the day to day things.
So any time you have a space that needs noise just let me know, meanwhile you take care of you, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

if the angel bird
glosses this

'''''listening with my eyes.

listening
will have to be Christened

and eyes replaced with ears
in position
tc bard warns

loved

No wonder the future Humons have only three fingers and big eyes, there will be no need for ears as the outside noise will irritate their thoughts that the keys tap out as I do using just two fingers lol
Take care young Bard and know we are here and are many even those that journey not as physical creatures hear your thoughts, lol
Talk later if I can reach the keys,
Yours Ian.Tapping Keys

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Le moineau is here and pecking wood gives me a headache and you know we men is not supposed to say we have a head ache.
Some of us will only be here for what is to me a fleeting time
though a few years spring to mind.
We write, we stop, the spaces come back, is it a loneliness that
descends into our spaces, no I don't think so.
If I am lonely I stretch out with my mind and see many things
I am never alone, yet there are spaces that I have to bridge.
This ether machine is not as good as our minds.
I see you there and am thankful for your thoughts.
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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