Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Talking Ways

It is good that you walk with me.
As the autumn of our days does come, it is hard
To find that all the summers were left behind for lost times.
Then we must stay for always in this time to hold you
Your hand in mine and walk the paths
That are there for us, and the ones we will love,
For all our days.

Come smile for all that they may see
There is true love in this life for me
I will hold you as we look at mountain streams
That babbles over rocks and take our dreams
Into the oceans arms.
That are always held just so, for the ones you know.
Then listen to the things that I may babble on
As hidden deep inside there is another song
That of love for one I did find
When all my yesterdays were left behind

Talking Ways (2)

I feel so good,
That you walk with me
As the Autumn of our days,
Does come, it is hard.
To remember our summer,
That was left behind
In warm shadowed times

Must I stay in this time?
For always to hold you
Place your hand in mine
Walk with me the new paths,
That are there for us,
And the ones we will love,
As they wait for future days.

Come smile for all,
That they may see,
there is true love
In this life for me
I will be there to hold you
As we look at mountain streams
that babble over rocks,
And take our dreams
into the oceans arms.

Arms that are always held just so,
For the ones you know.
Then listen to the things,
That I may babble on
as hidden deep inside,
There is another song
That of love for one I did find
When all my yesterdays,
Were left behind

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
Just thought I would edit the whole piece and put it as number 2 because it seems to be a new poem..
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi Ian,

I enjoyed reading both, but my preference is for the edited version. It's nicely worded and touching - a man of your age who writes like this is surely as adequate as in his youth, and maybe more so :D. best wishes, Indie

Thanks for your visit, yep the edited version was after my initial write but I thought that it is good to see the rough piece then the next stage.
You take care and Keep writing,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

but as you know
epicurial poetry tends to go slow
but Ian you know that I know
poetry yours like the Thames does flow

had you been this side
I would have mentioned Niagara
with tonnes of water fall
and there Ian ,
anyone can see standing tall.

Here a guy came and swept most of us
off our feet
did you not
yet him meet?

go read some comments on maestro
you will come to know

loved

Thank you for your welcome visit, I only wish that more would visit and say what they feel about writes , especially the ones of you and me.
But that is a space that we endure, as to the Niagara and the balance twix that and the Thames, London would disappear under a deluge like the great flood of fiction those years ago.
Maybe that flood was the reopening of the Mediterranean Sea which happened long ago, have you heard of it ???
Thanks again young Bard and it is good to see you writing better these last few days,
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

you and Stan alone
hold my hand
else from this site
I would've have run

loved

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.