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e l l e k t r a c k . . s n o w s h u n z . . t w i n n a p r a i z e

Submitted by Esker on Sat, 2013-12-07 00:37

rock the comfort
arm round
heart bound

the falling past the thoughts
shone luminous
born treacherous

pressed scrawled
in push script
bloodrun
an ink
viscous
a moment vicious

beneath
below
upon a new ideal
run

the droplets loved
a couplet urn
caught hurled
in pyre
overturned
spread hot
this ire

relinquish vows
caught choked
behind the veiled
clasp
a lucid grasp

hissing like a soul
streaming the
spent dream

blotting out a moon
behind the muted
clouds
the spirit scream

..

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

billypringle

Sat, 2013-12-07 04:35

billypringle's picture

reading this reminds me of someone going through the delirum tremens, incapable of putting words in a coherent sentence, gabbling desperation or prayer to a distant deaf god. I have seen this sort of prayer many times in northern churches as the victims of terror come in to ask why they are so victimized by life. There is a strange fascination in this work but is it poetry? Does it matter?
Jimm

Esker

Sat, 2013-12-07 09:59

Esker's picture

you have delved well..
although i write from a crushed perspective
often times there are talismens
fragments of something tangible

hope for inspiration
hope not lost
there is a believe

the \'deaf gods\

i like hearing about your experience
and the comparisons of words
run out
the supllications

i watched many movies
independent fillms and books
the dialogues of character
that writers create from
real histories or vivid imaginations

sometimes in all of the dialogue
and broadcast there are the most
vivid of moments...

thank you for your insightful comments
on this poem or amble ramble

i am under the great stress i chose
only from pushing hard
today is a beautiful cold day
and my route the two miles to the
mall along the track route away
from the rush of societies engines
shall refresh me yet again

thank you

author comment

Esker

Sat, 2013-12-07 10:06

Esker's picture

breaking past the usual far flung moments
wanting that new ground
but having to release all that is heavy
grounded dug in to carry

more like a refuge

a ridge to climnb
a desert journey
an odessey even

like the cry given before
going up over the wall
in world war one..

exhillarating and terrofying

thank you

author comment
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