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What's in a name

Submitted by Ian.T on Mon, 2013-12-02 19:11

I see them a way in the distance
Talking amongst themselves
As if there was no time
They whisper my name

Why do they gather so
Have they nothing else to do
I sing to them in thought
They laugh and know my name

“We cannot hurry” they say
“Why “I retort as if in answer
The question was long sought of
The answer was my name

I tire of your thoughts
The evening is too grand
To listen only to the starlight
I did not hear my name

There in the distance I now see
Not shadows but people freed
The veil of eternity closed
It was but an echo of my name.

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
There are a few questions when you hear your name being called from a distance, Yours Ian.T
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Emina Smajevic

Wed, 2013-12-04 14:02

now I see what you meant when you said that my thoughts run too fast because this here is just slow enough to let me imagine all the pictures
and really beautiful one Ian

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

Ian.T

Wed, 2013-12-04 19:10

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

Thank you for your comment, it is good that you can find the messages in these pieces, and understand the process.
I just wonder about the deeper meaning and pictures it portrays.
Thanks again , Yours, Ian.T (Yenti)

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment

Emina Smajevic

Thu, 2013-12-05 11:40

well it's not real, not ordinary, it's deep, the way I write

like you hurry to free yourself but not actually speaking about yourself but people in general
and the rush is not the answer
somehow this is divided between people-shadows and people freed
and when you speak about the distance like you're someone aside just watching and not interfering much it seems to me like you're tired or you don't care ''for your name'' which is the answer

I like this most

''The veil of eternity closed
It was but an echo of my name.''

and this

''To listen only to the starlight
I did not hear my name''

like you only have to search within yourself

and if I'll go really deep I'll connect this with life and death what can be explained in many different ways ..like a game ;)

Emina
Maybe it's better to stay completely within
as fire hides in metal
as water hides in rock.
Rumi

Ian.T

Thu, 2013-12-05 19:25

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

This piece was of life and death more leaning to the end time, not that one in the USA but of each of us as we reach out for journey's end.
Your name will be called one day when time is due, that you try to hear it before is a non non you may see the gathering of the Spirit ones and that they are talking of you name it doesn't mean that you are going.
So it ends up with but an Echo that we may have heard or it was just something we thought about too loudly, hey that's deep.
Take care out there and know we are thinking of you as always, when we think talk, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

author comment
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