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You are so intimate.......inspired by....

You are so intimate.......inspired by you.
You are so intimate
that's what I thought

as I stepped forward
my chest seemed to be caught
in the lengthy nails
I imagined to be,
too true
yes that's true,

then side twists of my body
upon yours curvaceous
jerked me off
as you tried to too,

but sudden transformation of a reality,
to a dream that now say you,
made me go down the corridors
naked to scream

foul play upon my nerves
I did display,
how could you place
my thoughts in disarray
to calm me down to look like a fool
imagining in my dreams
Sweety twas really you!

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I really thought this piece shows some potential, I enjoyed the journey it needs a little work but I know how you like to keep your pieces as is, usually lol If you would like some crit I would be happy to provide some for you

nice to read you again

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

all your edits on my works
are like cake icings
and all love it

thanks kindly do
a half baked poet I am ...
you know that too
born poet
no knowledge

loved

author comment

This was not entirely clear throughout. But I don't think it would take any effort to clarify.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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