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Ferrous Standby Complexitory Annunciation

Submitted by Esker on Sun, 2013-11-03 16:41

tin days roll away
the summer bleating in blonde chilled hay
the creeks are sighing raised their ways
in banks of crested hues of sheen
a memory of the seasons green
past through the florrid hurry dews
now dusted with the flurry hues
tin days have come
to stay

satin and sheen
of mornings frost
the labours of
a years cost
piled high in wood
for sighing stoves
preserves and
jams for tasty
loaves

familiys round a
table made
with talk and food
good grounding grade
and settled eve
when winters eyes
blink one by one
awake
past dusks
early
break

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

brittle light

Mon, 2013-11-04 02:25

brittle light's picture

very comfortable in the telling
a well colored tale

gray metal skies settling in
over my north country abode as well
(lake champlain vally)

stocking the pantry
for times when going out is too arduous,
or perilous
winterizing, house and home
and mental state

hoping for a season of
fluid fingers and thoughts
and blankets
and poems
maybe a good book,or two
music
and window watching
as the weather channel keeps ccompany

I like the poem
though more "conventional" ....did that require the titles as is?
conventionality is ok at times...even making titles

of course, this is none of my business really
keep doing it your way....I have no complaints...just wondering

Al

Esker

Mon, 2013-11-04 15:11

Esker's picture

I like your take on title..
I actually backed out of the body of the poem intended
when I was interupted to run to the store for a coffee..
tend to other duties of daily living..

I came back with another work in mind
and left the long old title...
Ferrous I kept as most compositions
are made from the combinations of
many base ideas and word associations

The original standby was a poem about
being kept as an observer to rush in
and assist while the main parties go
about what they require themselves to
do in life.....Rather then be the one man
band that ego dictates and power and
control issues of which I suffer greatly
(and those about me till they proclimated
a new decree...stole my crown and ousted
me but kept me about as a symbol signing
a peace treaty) a family tradition of
new...

so Its all relevant

I thought I would write a happy kind of poem
compared to my dark dingy seedy works that
I like.......I came from a rather well padded
upbringing.....but was privy enough into the
dens of here and there in my time...

we are preparing for winter here also...

Thank You for your thoughts on this work...

Mr Esker..

author comment

Seren

Tue, 2013-11-05 06:52

Seren's picture

I thought this was a total departure from your normal fare, I thought that the portrayal was beautifully put with your preparations for the coming winter, we are preparing for the summer and trying to prepare the yard cleaning out the leaves and any rubbish, we live near bushland and the danger of fire this year is higher than I have ever seen it, there have been so many catastrophic fires already and its just for safety's sake that we are making the preps we are

always a pleasure to read your words, like Al I wondered at the title ?

love JC xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

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