Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.
Slapped Trapped in a Bottle
https://docs.google.com/file/d/0B1CDwQMLJs6QZkp3a0s4YmU1Vzg/edit?usp=doc...
You got me sapped
Like a genie in a bottle
Trapped
Every time my goodness rise
You cut me off at the knees
Down to size
Like a child I cry out in pain
From words tearing
Feeling disdain
Because you don't care to know
The love I have
When you kick low
The desire fades that inspire
Knowing I did my best for a ingrate
A liar
Whatcha gonna do when I'm gone
Don't cry or shed one tear
When you can't phone
I'll be at peace
Somewhere missing your calls
Where it's nice
After all I won't be sapped
Like a genie slapped
Trapped
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Nilmini
Thu, 2013-10-31 09:41
Yey!!
Go for it girl! I simply love the idea. May be because in my past I remember thinking on the same line.
And I love the flow of the words in this poem and how it sounds when being read, too.
Truly an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing.
Cheers,
Nilmini
Ps. Hope you wouldn't mind me saying this. I was a bit surprised when I came to the words "Whatcha gonna do " in the 6th stanza.They wouldn't match with the rest of the poem. But then I do understand that you had to stick to the rhythm and the word count.
Nilmini
Thu, 2013-10-31 09:55
Yey!!
Go for it girl! I simply love the idea. May be because in my past I remember thinking on the same line.
And I love the flow of the words in this poem and how it sounds when being read, too.
Truly an enjoyable read. Thank you for sharing.
Cheers,
Nilmini
Ps. Hope you wouldn't mind me saying this. I was a bit surprised when I came to the words "Whatcha gonna do " in the 6th stanza.They wouldn't match with the rest of the poem. But then I do understand that you had to stick to the rhythm and the word count.
Barbara Writes
Fri, 2013-11-01 20:59
Nilmini
Thanks for reading listening and sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it.
*Collaborative Poetry Workshop* American Version of Japanese Poetry ~ Renga ~ Haiku, Senyru, Tanka.
Neopoet Community