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Wannabe

Submitted by brittle light on Tue, 2013-10-29 01:39

bare bulb
flicks / flecks
cracked plaster ceiling
dangling
a frizzy / frazzeled string
swinging and swaying as
upstairs thumpers
loving steady
rock
rhythems of humdrum
perfunctory

a smokey glaze distorts
disturbing soot faced
backstreet manoevers,
and all the goings-on of
a dirty downtown byway
my home away
today
to play
the starving artist, man!

an anorexic of comfort
suffering culture
through stereotypical cliches;
the cold-cocking shock
of poverty, loneliness, failure,

and its strange allure

I start my inevitable pacing

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Roscoe Lane

Tue, 2013-10-29 03:39

Roscoe Lane's picture
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This is very good, i can picture the dispair with every line. Regards Roscoe...

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

brittle light

Tue, 2013-10-29 23:47

brittle light's picture

thanks for the complementary words.

very much appreciated.

Al

author comment

Serendipity

Tue, 2013-10-29 07:46

Serendipity's picture

The Steps into sadness and despair for the world around you, its depicted beautifully as only you can do, its nice to read you I have been away a while so I have missed reading everyone

thanks for this excellent piece its great to come back and read such quality work

love JC xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

brittle light

Tue, 2013-10-29 23:53

brittle light's picture

I too have been absent for about 4-5 months. This is the second piece since being back.

thank you for your kind words.

let's both hope for a long run this time around on Neopoet. I miss it when not participating.

Al

author comment
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