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Safe Surprise

Submitted by PRECIOUSLYSET1 on Mon, 2013-10-28 06:49

In this chamber safety
still sleeps
Darkness surrounds me such
sweet relief

Categorized by infinitesimal
proportions
Plagiarized into uncomfortable
contortions

Supporting my belief in
solitude, these walls hold me
Reporting isolation as what my
soul needs

I believe my mind id wandering
far away from home
I believe I shouldn't wait
my soul yearning to roam

My dreams,
Are they dreams?
leave emptiness inside
Ahollow home was made right
before my very eyes

Surprised?

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

wesley snow

Mon, 2013-10-28 14:22

wesley snow's picture
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I will point out the typographical errors because it's what I do best.
"my mind (is) wandering" and we need space between "a" and "hollow"
Personally I try never to allow anything to leave my influence without it be exactly what I intended. I proofread carefully the smallest of works.
That said, this poem pleased me. I particularly enjoyed the rhyme scheme.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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