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Second attempt at Dactylic
Boy, is it hard to be writing a verse like this.
Patiently presenting amazing story lines.
Perhaps I should be more careful and listen more.
after all writing is funny and exciting.
BOY, is it / HARD to be / WRIT..ing..a / VERSE like this.
PA..tient..ly / PRE..sen..ting / AMA..z..ing / STOR..y lines.
PER..haps I / SHOULD be more / CAR..ful and / LIST..en more.
AFTER all / WRIT..ing is / FUN..ny and / EX..cit..ing.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Rula
Sat, 2013-10-19 08:17
Sorry the very late comment
on this dear Mand.
As I see it, it is perfect.
The last line reads
AFT-er- all / WRIT..ing is / FUN..ny and / EX..cit..ing.
Have you given the anapastic any attempt yet?
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mand
Sun, 2013-10-20 07:37
Rula!
Nice to see you. No will attempt anapastic a.s.a.p
Thank you - I'm soo pleased!
Love Mand xxx