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Anapestic Hexameter Quatrain - Ron Woodruff

ANTI-RANDOLOGY by Ron Woodruff

For the LUCK-/y do SMILE/ for the NEED-/y please TRY/ when in MOURN-/ing do CRY.

We are BE-/ ings of Flesh/ we are TRAPPED/ in this MESH/ love don't QUEST-/ion MORE.

Is it HARD-/er to SEE/ the small DIFF'-/rences plea:/ we are KIN/ 'til we DIE.

for the CHILD-/ ren we HOPE/ on the GLOB-/al scope WE/ must spread LOVE'S/ blessed SPORE.

Ron

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
It feels a bit choppy to me as a first run. Please let me know if I hit it. I still felt I had to do Hexameter and at least strive for meaning inside the poem. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it's correct. Thanks, Ron
Editing stage: 
Workshop: 

Comments

A palpable hit.
You have been a most excellent participant in this workshop.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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Thanks for the very kind words. Thanks to Rula and you for acting as a well oiled machine.

Ron

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

Am I to suppose that the revisions I made to my Anapestic Hexameter quatrain fixed the problem? I haven't heard anything about the revision or how metrically correct it is after the changes.

Please let me know,

Thanks,

Ron Woodruff (BlueDemon77)

Blue Demon77

"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."

The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath

author comment

You hit it on the head. Start working on a final poem. Dactyl/Trochee or Anapest/Iamb. Three quatrains any length.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

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