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Better Now...
I am/ not sure/ of all/ the rules/
I thought/ that they/ were all/ for fools
But now/ I know/ that it/ is good
And I/ o/bey/ like I/ sh/ould
Last few words:
Is this right?
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
Rula
Thu, 2013-09-19 12:44
other than you have written
other than you have written your quatrain in Tetrameter instead of pentrameter I think you are doing fine except for the last line.
I am/ not sure/ of all/ the rules/
I thought/ that they/ were all/ for fools
But now/ I know/ that it/ is good
And I/ o-bey/ like-I/ should-? / (half foot is needed)
can you amend?
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Geezer
Thu, 2013-09-19 19:10
I've been...
really tired and not making much sense of any written material lately. Sorry I didn't do it in the right meter.
But here is my half foot:
I am/ not sure/ of all/ the rules
I thought/ that they/ were all/ for fools
But now/ I know/ that it/ is good
And I/ o- bey/ them as/ I should
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scribbler
Thu, 2013-09-19 23:11
Hi Gee
Thank god that I have company in having trouble with pentameter. But the meter looks pretty good except that last line which begins with iambic.......i think....................stan
wesley snow
Fri, 2013-09-27 23:12
Just checking.
The revision solves it. But of course Iamb is the easy one... bwa ha ha ha.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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wesley snow
Fri, 2013-09-27 23:12
Sorry.
It's late. I'm a little punchy.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about