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Dactyl (Bottom Line Workshop)

Here is my example of a Dactylic ditty. Remember, we are writing strict meter "for the workshop only". Seldom is Dactylic or Anapest used exclusively throughout a poem. Also, this is in Pentameter. Don't feel you must write Pentameter. Trimeter or Tetrameter will suffice. These are long feet and writing in Dactylic Pentameter is a stinker.

 

Harmony, musical, Dactylic, yes it’s hard, try it out.

Don’t be afraid though not ready to risk it and trust yourself.

Why does your teacher keep whining so spite your attempts at it?

Come now don’t tarry and write with a passion that carries it.

 

Har-mony, / mu-sical, / Dac-tylic, / yes it’s hard, / try it out.

Don’t be a- / fraid though not / rea-dy to / risk it and / trust yourself.

Why does your / tea-cher keep / whi-ning so / spite your at- / tempts at it?

Come now don’t / tar-ry and / write with a / pas-sion that / car-ries it 

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
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Comments

Please look at mine and tell me what is right and wrong with it

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Please look at mine and tell me what is right and wrong with it

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I'm trying to "get my shit together".

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
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author comment

Being sick on top of everything else isn't helping much....desperately need a break and some good news.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I notice in this one you have used,
"try it out", where each word is emphasised
"don’t" as a stressed at the start and unstressed at the end of parts of your work..
"hard" to me seems stressed no matter where you use it --??????
This is one of the hardest things to write and with the modern changes in speech I feel that with the accents of today it is becoming outmoded and near impossible to write unless you revert to the old sing song English spoken by those in the time pf the Bard,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

It is a strange poem that can be scanned in only one way.
For example: "try it out" could be scanned any number of ways. It is essentially Pyhrric, meaning a collection of unaccented syllables which will accept almost anything you throw their way.
But now... note where they were in the line. Had I begun the verse with those three words I would have read them as Trochee thus setting a pattern for the line that would not have held up. However, by the time you reached the end the meter had been established and, being Pyhrric, they easily take that meter and run with it.
It is not only important to use the meter, but to be aware of the meter's "location" in the verse and the poem at large. What works in the middle may not work in the beginning.
Also, you are correct that Dactyl and Anapest are extraordinarily difficult to use throughout a poem. If you read Byron's "The Destruction of Sennarcherib" (and I suggest you do... it is a spectacular epic poem) you will find that it is "mostly" written in Anapest. He uses catalectics and Iamb freely throughout. Hence, my instructions for our last poem. Don't try to write a longer poem in strictly Anapestic meter. It will drive you insane. Instead, set a tone for Anapest and be willing to cut your lines short and intersperse Iamb here and there.
In the quatrains I wanted everyone to attempt a very strict meter as that is the ONLY way the learning curve can be achieved.
When you produce art (and I go back to my original conversations in the workshop) it is "Rhythm" that is paramount. Anapest is a marvelous meter to write in. When mastered it produces a gentle flow that Iamb cannot achieve, but don't write it with a metronome.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment

exhausted and lost. My thought process is totally burned out. Help......

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

This is art, not rock science. It took me over a year of constant work before I could even grasp Dactyl and Anapest much less write in the form. Simply continue messing with it. As a bicycle once you "get" it, IT will never leave you.
Also, try reading some of my list of poems written in these forms. It will help you feel the rhythm of it. Particularly read Byron's "The Destruction of Sennarcherib". It is not only a gnarly poem, but he handles the form extraordinarily well.
Carrie, the important thing is to not leave this in the workshop. Continue making the attempts after the shop is over. Practice will give you the skill and only practice.
Your poetry particularly (due to its dark nature) should be written in Dactyl. Also, (and I have said this before) you actually write in Dactyl already. It is instinctive to you. Because you are being forced to understand it you are freaking out and trying too hard.
When I first started exploring poetic forms I couldn't write a two word verse in Iamb. Now I almost "think" in Iamb and Trochee is easy for me. Dactyl and Anapest still require I concentrate, but it's coming along also.
Don't surrender, but settle down or you'll give yourself a stroke and then where will Jason and I be?

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about

author comment
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