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You
I wanted to pen an eternal song
its kernel word a stream of honey
and make its abode the heaven
where happiness is bestowed.
The angels' wings hurry
to carry the thought,
flawless and free
and only
echoes
"you"
Style / type:
Structured: Eastern
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Author information
Region & Country
Jordan
Favorite Poets
I favor the ones who are closer to humanity and, Poets are humanity when the world lose it.
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Comments
mand
Thu, 2013-09-26 03:26
Nice nonet! Love the
Nice nonet! Love the sentiment and imagery.
Thanks for giving and sharing.
Love Mand xxxxx
Rula
Thu, 2013-09-26 07:58
Mandy
I am happy that you've realized the form and like it.
Thanks for your nice visit.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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author commentweirdelf
Sat, 2013-09-28 18:34
Cloying and sweet
it;s redeeming feature is the structure, reducing lines length to add each potency.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Sun, 2013-09-29 08:21
Jess,
though not sure what did you mean with 'cloy',( I assume it isn't so good), yet I am well satisfied you found the structure a satisfying one.
Thanks for the visit. Much appreciated.
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
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author commentIan.T
Sat, 2013-09-28 18:49
Rula
As Mand says Yes Yes Nonet, another one of your self tests and you passed this one.
From that year or so ago you have grown in strength and become a great member of Neopoet,
Well done young lady, and the workshop where you excel a journey taken with a lovely poetic patience..
Yours as always, Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
weirdelf
Sat, 2013-09-28 18:53
Ian is right
You have learned, progressed and surpassed yourself so far that I no longer take into account that english is your second language. This is superb structure.
Though personally I still find it cloying.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Sun, 2013-09-29 08:24
Ian, jess
your kind words mean a lot. I am honored, really!
❤❤❤❤❤❤
Please follow me on Instagram
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author commentalidzain
Wed, 2014-08-20 15:32
another new type of poetry!
yes! that's what I like about you. You've got a variety of poetry forms here. so please,please, please, can you start a workshop?
Eagerly waiting
Alid
lovedly
Wed, 2014-08-20 16:19
nice coming from you
so nice to read such a poetry
raj
Thu, 2014-08-21 00:29
Rula
It is nice that Alid's comment brought this poem back in stream. I would like to know in simplified terms what a Nonet form is. I can see that it gets tapered to a single word. Does it also have something to do about a syllable count? Alid is right, you can very well organize a workshop. As Stan says "Holler" and I will join ..lol....
Regards,
raj (sublime_ocean)
Ian.T
Thu, 2014-08-21 04:14
raj
My A-Z on poetry forms or a simple search will give you the structure of the Nonet, I will bring to the top my list of poetic forms A-N it will be in there at the end under "N" LOL.
Take care out there ,
Yours, Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..