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Carrion (Meter workshop)

Submitted by BettyBuff on Fri, 2013-09-20 05:55

The stench of flesh so fresh and raw and hewn,
my eye like lense, so dense on meat so strewn,
I crave the drip of blood on beak for noon,
repast ate fast, too gorged to eat too soon.

Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Rula

Fri, 2013-09-20 07:33

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meter does this drill represent dear Ells?
I see it's all iamb except for one foot.

repast ate fast, too gorged to eat too soon.

rePAST| ATE FAST|too GORGED| to EAT| too SOON

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Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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Rula

Fri, 2013-09-20 07:28

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write the meter type in the title and choose the workshop from the
list down to be included in the workshop poems

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
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Ian.T

Fri, 2013-09-20 09:25

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As with Rula on this one just the last line needs a little attention.

repast ate fast, too gorged to eat too soon.

The blood it touched my rotten rows of barbs
The gorging set my head in pointed glee.

Love this one it sets the mood for a blood bath LOL
PS:- I will try to keep Digit away from this one
but I fear it maybe too late,
Yours Ian.T

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So find more reasons to believe in others..

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