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A Poetic Fib (Fibonacci Poetry)
I'm
not
goddess
Demeter
or Persephone
but I sow thoughts where summers tread
then the sunshine would bathe them warm to grow endlessly.
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
An attempt in Jess's fibonacci form of poetry. Not sure that I've captured the right idea of "enthusiastic bewonderment" though, and wasn't brave enough to go beyond the 7 th line. I thought sonnets are easier to write LOL
*Demeter (in Greek ancient Myth) is the goddess of the harvest, who presided over grains and the fertility of the earth
**Persephone (in Greek Myth) is Demeter's daughter, the queen of the underworld and the goddess of spring.
The reference is always the Wikipedia
Editing stage:
Workshop:
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Comments
weirdelf
Sat, 2013-08-24 04:39
Excellent attempt
I think the last word 'read' blows the sense of wonder though.
Perhaps instead of 'for a read' 'endlessly'?
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
Rula
Sat, 2013-08-24 06:39
jess
Thank you . I think I was ambitious to rhyme 'tread' with 'read' . Thanks for the suggestion.
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BlueDemon77
Wed, 2013-08-28 22:48
Good Job Rula!
I appreciate the effort and the quality of your work in trying all these different styles.
Ron
Blue Demon77
"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."
The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath
Rula
Thu, 2013-08-29 00:11
Thanks Ron !
My pleasure you like it.
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