Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

The Rising

Submitted by TheDarkOne on Wed, 2013-08-14 04:17

Thoughts.
Infinite whispers, in the timelessness
The soul stilled in the silence
The sands pour no more.
Past and future have faded,
Only the serenity of The Void.

...

My heart pounds, undulating the dark
The firmament stills,
for a moment.

Breath held for an eternity
breaks the slumber
The Earth shivering at the ancient expiration
Wraiths wail at the swelling tempest
Whispers of the awakening thunder the air

It too has risen.
Formless, nameless. Writhing in the false darkness
Staring back though it's guises

2013/08/14

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

Ian.T

Thu, 2013-08-15 06:07

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

I don't believe that you dwell in the dark,
that you can see so much means that it is light.
Though there \are some that can see without light but that is another story.
I liked the write it was a fascinating subject,
Take care yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

TheDarkOne

Mon, 2013-08-19 06:21

TheDarkOne's picture

Having been in the light, it was filled with too much. The dark is calm, can't stay there forever though.

author comment

Ian.T

Mon, 2013-08-19 06:50

Ian.T's picture
Volunteer badge

I retreat to my cave sometimes, it is not very deep so that I can see the entrance where it frames the light, if I withdraw further the light dims.
There in the darkness you can think without the busyness of light.
Yes it is good for you but to dwell in the dark too long many strange things happen, at the start your eyes become bigger then disappear.
The pigment of your skin will go also, then I suppose as all humons long for company, the madness will arrive and take you to a living hell.
Then you die Ha Ha, or are taken to the funny farm by the men in white.
Have a great day out there, yours with good thoughts, Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.