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Sniffing...

Feeling out each other
limits and rituals
Give me this...
I'll give you that
until you are so full

Orbiting ellipsis
thoughts are tossed aside
Never to be spoken
voiced...
That way, there are no lies

Not close, but yet not far
distant and then near
Visions planted, nurtured
grown only...
for your ear

We are just who we are
but still...
You ready to believe?
Keep on talking buddy...
and I really will

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage: 

Comments

it's the whole truth
in a jiffy
simple dose to follow
by dwarfed
pseudo poets like me

loved

You are not a pseudo-poet by any means! You might not have as many fans as you would like, but I often find your works very interesting and I always read them when I come here to Neopoetland. I always come away with a thought to ponder and that is what it is all about, isn't it? What makes a poet? I think it is someone who can bring a common thing about mankind in general to the table and make it palatable. Never fear, you will always have a reader here. ~ Gee

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author comment

we are what are...not much we can do about it...good write...i would comment further but my allergies are acting up and my eyes feel like they are on fire...love ya..

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

came about from a conversation that I had with someone about "Who do you think I am?" Do you think you know me? I got to thinking; that people try to let you see only what they want you to see and that they will sometimes tell you anything you seem to swallow. They also have rituals that they perform and limits to what they will do or not do to get you to believe what they are telling you. Sorry that you are feeling crappy, hang in there! Love ya, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Many who act in that way...they turn into who you think they are and then lead a separate life. They make you believe in things you want to.believe in only to.find out it wasn't real. Every time I think I know who I am and where I.belong...the rug gets pulled from underneath...I liked this poem...can relate to.it well

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

you are having such a bad time with being who you are. I really like who you are. Eventually, you will find your way and hopefully the rest of the world will find out what a beautiful person you are. Hang in there, ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

An unusual piece for you though I liked the theme and how you put it across.
It reminded me that someone had said, Humans will pass each other in the street without any contact, yet a dog will never pass another without that Sniffing LOL.
Great Write, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

that you caught the inference I made about the dog; even though it was obscure!
Your reference to dogs sniffing each other as they pass one and other, was exactly the thought I had in mind.
I love dogs and they still figure greatly in my mind, even though I no longer have one in my family. I use the ways that they acquaint themselves with each other to figure out how to deal with new relationships. People aren't much different than dogs, they just aren't so honest about what they are all about. Thanks for the read and the comment. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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