Buddha would cry to hear your cries.
Where did you hear that Buddha said that you must look for pain.
It is pain of the physical body that we must endure.
Pain of the Spirit is for you to control.
No Soul/Spirit can suffer pain only disorientation due to being in a physical body.
As you make that leap from this life to the true Spirit,
then you will know, that your pain was for you to learn of Pain.
There must be no leaving early to escape these things,
They were your choice for ever,
and the only way to learn of these things.
Go well young Bard,
I shall talk to thee in the ways of old,
yet do I hear that you sometimes don't listen.
Tis but a leap of faith to understand that inner self.
The real you, Yours as always Ian.T

I have to wander into the night and hope that the dreamtime is only until the dawn, Night....