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Reedswood Road

street like a circumpunct

a concrete toybox

with a hatchback heartbeat

 

brick-orgies of houses loom over

the lawns shaved with diamonds

the rituals

the microcosm

 

conjoined houses breeding

dull children

with photograph senses

with monotonous syndrome

with weak bodies and clean teeth

 

the clocks are lazy here

 

II

last month I was rewarded by dead badger

head draped over curb

like a masterpiece

 

by noon he’d been cleaned away

to a tupperware tomb

 

maybe next year It’ll be the neighbours

Style / type: 
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
Trying to convey the monotonous and soulless aspects of suburban life.
Editing stage: 

Comments

head
even though i have read
but am not yet dead
dwarfed mind instead

loved

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