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Time has age me
Time has age me since paper was put to pen
Walking through life in more rain filled question
Why does it sing out with the poetry that I cannot omit
Time has age me since paper was put to pen
Editing stage:
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Comments
weirdelf
Sun, 2013-07-28 20:43
Hey Pressman!
Great to see you, it's been a while.
A very effective and rather poignant poem.
I think it would be improved by using more correct (traditional?) grammar.
Time has age me [aged]
Time has age me since paper was put to pen [aged]
Walking through life in more rain filled question
[Walking through life in rain filled questioning
or
Walking through life in rain filled questions]
Why does it sing out with the poetry that I cannot omit
Time has age me since paper was put to pen [aged]
I like the inversion of putting paper to pen.
Cool comeback, mate.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
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Ian.T
Mon, 2013-07-29 04:00
Press
Jess has found all the small grammatical things, so all I have to do is comment on the theme, great, great, piece and no wasted words,
Yours Ian.T
PS:- Haven't forgotten you lol.
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
press
Mon, 2013-07-29 22:24
Hey guys so glade 2 hear
Hey guys so glade 2 hear from all of U an I am really happy that the love still remains [ and yes I am a little rusty
lonlyhrtsclub13
Tue, 2013-07-30 10:57
PRESS
Long time no see (it's me hardcorechick28). Glad to see you are back and writing again. Your poem was short but made perfect sense. It seems like we change with every piece we write and as time goes on, our writing changes to reflect that changes within us, if that makes sense...good to see you.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"