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Originally Speaking
I’m gonna write a poem “Original”
(stop laughing fool, I know it can be done).
My English waits for me to rip and maul.
I’ll grab my books and start this artful run.
The things are large- there must be something here
and then, of course, there is poetic muse
(I hear you and I see you mocking sneer).
In my thesaurus there is much to use.
The damn thing weighs nigh over seven pound.
The rhymer’s small, but it’s computer bred.
That means all rhymes ere made here can be found.
I seldom ever need to use my head.
I’ll use the word electrophoresis.
Who cares if I know naught of what it means.
I’ll rhyme the thing with amniocentesis.
That blows “Original” to smithereens.
So amniotic fluid is too long.
A catalyctic slip from perfect form.
They tell me such as this is never wrong,
though everybody knows I loves the norm.
But what of context, should I think of that?
Why bother, that would make me use my mind.
I’ve worn before my beat up “thinking hat”
but it no longer fits my head refined.
For truly I am cultured and genteel.
I teach this stuff online now, don’t you know?
That makes of me a poet deep and real
(you laugh like that, your gut is gonna blow).
Yet still “Original” is what I seek,
so I avoid the use of terms like “love”.
The word is trite and fatally antique
and nothing rhymes with it but “skies above”.
So nothing like this ever has been penned.
It’s genuine to fault and richly wrought.
My search for novel poesy is at end
and I return to poetry with plot.
(what’s that you say, you quote now Ezra Pound?
And Byron, Keats and Coleridge and Poe?
You’ve got some nerve to tell me all you’ve found,
but I agree and it is hard to know).
So I will write and fake it best I can.
“Original” is such that cannot be.
But as the youthful Frederick F. Chopin,
I’ll copy Mozart trying to be me.
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words:
Take that Originality Workshop. I'm ready.
Editing stage:
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Region & Country
Southern California
Favorite Poets
Tolkien, Byron, Longfellow, Shakespeare, Dr. Suess, Elizabeth Browning, Robert Browning, Dickinson
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Comments
lonlyhrtsclub13
Sun, 2013-07-28 19:55
original
It is....of course your language is superior..I enjoyed the bit of humor as well...
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
Rula
Mon, 2013-07-29 00:16
A totally different writing
from you ere ones. I really like it. Seems you're very much ready for the new workshop.
Ps..Thought I'd let you know that the word "love" also rhymes with "dove" . I've just checked my on-line rhyming dictionary and thesaurus ((smiles)).
❤❤❤❤❤❤
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Ian.T
Mon, 2013-07-29 03:30
Rula
From the old one:- not the dove from above that rhymes with love, but the one where I "Dove into the water" not the bird, feelings, or up there you have found for this one.
Then that love is no good, you would have to Rove around a bit and all the words in that range LOL.
Well found though, Yours Ian.T. you see, I read near all of Neopoets writings!!!
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Ian.T
Mon, 2013-07-29 03:37
Wesley
There is no point in writing about all these people and calling it original, most of them I have heard of but they are established in the history of writing.
The first thing you did was grab your Books, not Original, can you just sit down with a blank word document, and write something from you, that is from your thoughts, and not what some character has taught you.
The piece above is full of how you learned this and that and may I add a little self praise, nothing Original.
I challenge you to be spontaneous and Original, show us an Original thought that is of your feelings and fears.
I could go on as usual but wont, I dove into this without thinking.
Yours Ian.T
Still Loves you unconditionally
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
wesley snow
Mon, 2013-07-29 10:56
Ian,
there was nothing "original" here. It is a joke. Hence the big words. My rhymer lists copious amounts of scientific terminology as possible rhyming words. I have always thought that was funny, but if you're going to try and list "everything" as the Penguin rhymer does then where do you draw the line?
Yes, I do write often without the use of my books. It was the point of training my mind WITH the books. When things get stuck I don't hesitate to fly to them. I don't consider them "cheating". There are very few words in either my thesaurus, rhymer or dictionary that I am unfamiliar with. Using the books simply means I may access the words without spending ridiculous amounts of time searching for something in my own mind (which age has slowed considerably).
The only use I made of the books for this silly, little poem was to find the really big words which of course were part of the joke.
As for "originality", I invite you to read my overlong comment on the originality workshop page where I offer what will likely be my only opinion on the subject.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
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author commentIan.T
Mon, 2013-07-29 11:08
Wesley
I am so sorry, I am not use to you being other than serious in the poetry line.
I have a good humble pie in my cave, so I will away and scoff some.
Now what to do, I know I shall just hide for a while and go look for some rope, in meters to remind me of the next piece I write.
On the door behind me hangs a Yard stick have you seen one, it is used in the processing of Fabric (dress making usually).
Now I shall go and purchase a metre stick if there are any lol
Take care sorry again, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
wesley snow
Mon, 2013-07-29 18:03
No need to apologize.
However, Your apology was humorous and in keeping with the nature of this poem. When I write something real (as I am sure I shall someday other than the epic work, I shall let you know... or perhaps the work itself shall let you know that I meant what I said.)
This, of course, is drivel and meant to be read as such. It's silly and poking fun at those of us who use the books, who use Google, who use every opportunity other than our own minds to produce poetry. The best poetry I have produced (for example: Echoes.) was produced in a dark room with ghosts abounding, but quiet and listening. No books, no computers... naught but that which I use to produce my first draft... a nib pen of oak wood and brass with a bottle of ink that Janet Burkle (she'll deny this if confronted) stole from the Smithsonian that belonged to Benjamin Franklin).
And this is how I write. No books. No additions. A piece if paper (no notebook) on a board.
That's it.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
author commentIan.T
Mon, 2013-07-29 18:30
Wesley
As I have a couple of minutes of today left, and I am sure you are right, which in itself boggles the mind, mind you I have been boggled many times in my life "My Life have I", but that is another story.
Lets not get away from ourselves, now there's a thing to be serious, I think I can remember doing that once, and had to be picked up, but it was fun as I was a bit of a wallflower in many things.
Seriously where was I Oh yes a couple of minutes to spare..
Ah! now I remember what I was going to talk about, we are about to embark ( Not Elmbark as I hear it has nasty beetles in it) on a reality check and to truthfully go where no man dare to tread, can't wait to ask questions in the comment bit to the girls we have here. lol.
I have ordered a new box of tissues for the computer table, so that the tears can be moped ( Not Mo-ped) up, also a plastic sheet over the keyboard, I shall have to practice typing with that on.
Oh Yes truth and reality, I have long since realised that sometimes it is best to lie through the teeth, but now with so many gaps in them it sounds the same old stories.
Go on tell me this is going to be a dare truth and promise workshop !!
I dare you to tell the truth if you promise us you will do so first.
Now I think we have ironed out most of the problems for this workshop but if there is anything troubling you young lad just let me know by PM and I will be discreet in my answers to you, ROTFLMAO, sorry again that just got out I was miles away.
You take care what you say and you had better make a bolt hole what ever that is, now I shall go to my cave I am expecting guests,
Night, Ian.T and goodnight to you too young Wesley..
PS:- I tried your Oak nib for my pen (Not a swan song) but I forgot and used English Oak the damn nib nearly turned inside out and blotted my copy book.....
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
wesley snow
Mon, 2013-07-29 19:02
Ah now I know that all of your kagogs are out of whack.
Which should make an originality workshop just up our corner. Let us, old men, together, take it slowly, canes in hand and lead the rest of them into what they have already seen far too many times in our eyes. Just because it is new to them does not mean it is not old.
See you there old gentleman.
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
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