Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet,
sat on her tuffet,
quite comfy, so they say,
She looked at the spider,
that sat down beside her,
and swatted the blighter away.

He whizzed past her face
at such a quick pace,
much to her great surprise.
His mouth was agape,
contorting its shape,
while blinking his multiple eyes.

The wind blew her hair,
so pretty and fair,
that he became obsessed .
He grimaced a smile,
that looked somewhat vile
and his legs curled under his chest.

As he flew through the air,
he fixed her a stare,
showing his gleaming white fangs.
When she let out a shriek,
he went sheepish and meek,
feeling the twinge of loves pangs.

Filled with emotion
he paused in slow motion.
and his legs just fell apart.
With nostrils inflated
and pupils dilated ,
which verily melted her heart.

Without a word spoken
he gave her a token
so she called him to her side.
With music symphonic
he looked catatonic
and gawked at her all gooey eyed.

Now, when Miss Muffet
sits on her tuffet
eating her goats cheese pies.
She’s glad of the spider
that sits down beside her
devouring those pesky old flies.

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Loved this it was a refreshing piece of nursery stories.
Some will say that they like the real thing well tough.
It is about time the scholars sat down and rewrote many of the historic pieces and brought them into the 21st century.
I wrote the new Crooked man but it became bogged into the past ways.
Keep them coming, I enjoy them, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thought I'd do my own take - tried to make it the opposite of the original. Lol
I agree though, many would prefer to leave alone! I hope it doesn't offend anyone that i've tried to upgrade it.

Glad for your opinion - it is always valued and appreciated.

Love Mand xxxxxxx

author comment

Please don't worry about the odd moan, you write what you want to.
You are a writer and you are free to write what ever you want we are here to learn form style and the ways of writing.
You just keep on writing and stop worrying about that sort of thing,
Yours ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Thanks Ian - you are a kindly soul indeed!

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

I've not been here in almost a year now and the first poem I read was your. What a delightful take on an old nursery rhyme. I see no where that I would make a suggestion as it is lovely as is
Chrys

Chrys
Let your mercy spill on all these burning hearts in hell(Leonard Cohen)

I've only just come back too! Woow! It's so nice to meet up again! Family circumstances have changed for me ( at the moment ) so I have more time to devote to reading and writing! I'm looking forward to getting reaquainted with everyones work. If we were in a pub I'd share a glass of wine with ya! Great to hear from you and what a lovely encouraging comment!

Hope to see you soon.

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

I love twists on fairy tales and nursery rhymes however mine are much darker and not so well received...

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

Nice to see you! Kind of you to read and comment. I'll have to come by and read some of your work. I've tweaked a few nursery rhymes - some of which may not be very popular! Lol

I'm going away today - to my parents. They've got a computer but I'm not sure I will get the time to access it. If I do I'll look you up. If not I may not be around for a week. either way I look forward to visiting you.

Thank you once again!

Love Mand xxxxx

author comment

way of looking at Fairy Tales was not readily accepted. The poem is called Fairy Tale Slayer and I created my own fictional fairy tale person called Black Riding Hood. Her language isnt very nice and she lays it all out as she sees it....hope you do get a chance to swing by and hope it doesnt offend.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.