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Giselle

rivers of leaves
falling like snow
their shadows like notes
on the promenade
rails

the surf
captured
in its race
towards the north

islands of clouds
subdued
Gitane and Chanel

seasons of the sea
cascading
like brilliant jewels
insoluble
in heartsong

vibrant and headstrong

Editing stage: 

Comments

From Bicycles to Perfumes and leaves falling like snow, a ballet's title, where everything is singing as the Oceans movement.
Your writes take a while to become use to but the fascination is in the whole where the mind joins all the fractured pieces together.
Another of your riddles, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

my mind with each of your lines. I am never disappointed. Vibrant and headstrong! ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

Upon re read its more like the latent works
of the end of the old Orgami tyme..

author comment

the distinct image of a young, independent woman exploring the beach, taking in her enviornment, enjoying the tides. You could feel the freedom and relaxation, like she was at a peaceful, safe place. I like it.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

I had forgotten the asexual form of writing
I had strongly used long ago in the old
archive of Neopoet...From the intellect
feeling..rather then the identity
of our social construct which is the
primitive drives and then the constraints
or freedoms..

etc etc ..blah blah...

as I said this was from the old Orgamic
time.....the older works
which were more truer to poetry then
just the fodder I consider the latter
works...

I greatly appreciate how your mind
works....Our small little city and with
my own personas and character
history attitude agression and
plain downright snobbery I limit
myself to keeping myself limited
from most.....

so its very refreshing to hear
and relate on a direct manner
the core issues of thoughts

nice to discuss with writers
writer thoughts..

Thanks Carrie

Steven..

author comment

How your mind works as well. I have changed since my days on old neo as hardcorechick. It is nice to have someone who understands. I keep myself limited as well for a number of reasons that I won't bore you with. It is nice to have someone to relate to. I am glad we are on a first name basis.

Keep Writing,
Carrie

"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"

to understand your poetic elocution
twill be easier for me
to face a chair -borne electrocution

but

I love you and your composition
even though they fly high
above my mental
uncemented foundation

loved

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