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The Invisible Man
I pass, like the
Autumn breeze rustling the leaves
Lips brush you your cheek, like
the kiss of the Spring Sun
Unseen
Faint, a moonlit shadow.
Unknown
Dark, an ashened abyss.
Your heartbeat echoes
in the dark of mine
My touch whispers
snaking around your skin
A ghost in your thought
My eyes a glimpse in yours
Lips,
Breath shared
A heart seen...
NGJ 2013/06/24
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Tue, 2013-06-25 04:16
Dark
A much better write, than the first I read the other day.
Spirit or ghostly like, to touch yet not be there, in some strange way, as if a loss of someone, where the memory lets you play as you would like.
Good for the imagination,
Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
lonlyhrtsclub13
Tue, 2013-06-25 10:28
Not a bad write
I like the mystery, the ability to let the reader form their own visuals and interpretation. Very nice.
Keep Writing,
Carrie
"Quoth said the Raven, NEVERMORE"
TheDarkOne
Fri, 2013-07-05 15:54
Appreciated :-)
Thank you for the comments.
I am glad the singleness came through.