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which
a tug
moral eternity
halos of intellect
shadowed by will and want
barren consciousness
prayer kissed
bended knee torn
by fear or faith
everlasting truth
a quantum quest
for the balm
salve for disillusion
foul or fair
who discerns
Editing stage:
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Comments
doomhead
Tue, 2013-06-11 03:06
I'm unsure
as to the coherence of this poem - a beautiful scramble of words is what it came across to me. It certainly feels rough, perhaps it needs more structure and a slight reveal in conclusion. A pleasure to read regardless.
Esker
Tue, 2013-06-11 14:17
Love these tender scraps..
like the fat and bone
mystery..
like a ruin in winter
full of waiting hall
dust and furniture
I write like this and I love
your writing
Almost like I can stand
behind you at the typewriter
(clinique and cigarettes)
Like your poetry very much
I love mystery and artifacts of thoughts
mid way...like a shadow stretched
through an alley undiscovered
beautiful!!
Thank You Ida...