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Seemingly Untitled

All that wishing,
Never doing.

All that frustration,
Keeps on brewing.

And the tea of laziness
Is never sipped.

~Is Inaction Too An Action?~

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Last few words: 
I believe that even laziness involves some sort of action.
Editing stage: 

Comments

Hi Royyce.

Love the line '...and the tea of laziness is never sipped'...fitted in well with the idea of frustration 'brewing'. Title is clever. Short but sweet. Namaste.

Ells

Hello Betty,thanks for reading,and for your comment too.
Glad you noticed the link between that line and the idea.

author comment

Now what do I do as I is all of those things,
or was this just a pointed poem lol,
Yours Sparrow

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

I'm not sure I get what you're saying.

author comment

If you was a true Jeddi you would have known what I was:-
I does all of these

All that wishing,
Never doing.
All that frustration,
Keeps on brewing.
And the tea of laziness
Is never sipped.

So is the last line my capture.

~Is Inaction Too An Action?~
Yours Sparrow..

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

and this is the first time I saw your poetry. I MUST get out more often. Blame my duties.
I loved this little piece. You use a Rubik's cube of twisted phrases that turn in on each other. That is some of my favorite stuff.
I can't suggest anything to help. The poem is superb.

W. H. Snow

A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley

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So glad for your comment; "You use a Rubik's cube of twisted phrases that turn in on each other. That is some of my favorite stuff." :)

author comment
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