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Stoplight
Stoplight flashing in the dark.
Heartbeat of a sleeping town.
Red and yellow flashes reaching
into the darkness.
They bounce off storefront glass in all directions.
And the people dream on.
With the dawn resuscitation of
the citizens reflected in a now
tricolor cycling.
The nightly ritual of countless little hamlets
once more complete.
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Review Request (Direction):
How was my language use?
What did you think of the rhythm or pattern or pacing?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage:
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Comments
Rula
Sun, 2013-06-02 16:50
Nice description captain
though it goes dark sometimes especially
With the dawn resuscitation of
the citizens reflected in a now
tricolor cycling.
but it might be only me
I like the opening and the ending lines especially
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weirdelf
Mon, 2013-06-03 05:25
It is good language
doesn't say much Perhaps I am missing the content. I really can be quite thick.
cheers,
Jess
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