Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

MEMORIAL

They're an eclectic company
who lie beneath the late spring sun
far too many, far too many
each some loving mother's son
all of those who've gathered here

Some from the war between the states
others thought they'd end all war
or stopped Hitler spreading all his hates
and Koreans on that distant shore
Vietnam took many who were dear

New members fought in the Mid East
we set them free to kill each other
by removing an Iraqi beast
his sons and even evil brother
and Assoma finally learned fear

All these men covered by grass
gave their all for you and me
earning eternal week end pass
an everlasting liberty
to them we'll tip a final beer

Not all of them now lie at rest
in peaceful fields beneath white cross
indeed some of the very best
remain with us despite the loss
of tranquility , I fear

*To all the veteran here and departed, thank you

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

so touched by your portrait of those who are still with us in the last verse, that I had to write a poem of my own about them. I was struck by the oddness of your rhythm, but figure that the way you meant it to read, was not the way that it does. I think you might double-space the last line away from the rest. That way you have that natural pause that makes it smoother. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

I'm not that happy with last 2 lines either. But memorial day wouldn't wait for me to get it righ lol. Also, everybody concentrates on those who died in wars. Figured it was time to give due to those who still carry war's burden with them. Appreciate your time to read and comment.............stan

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.