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A Discourse by Two Mortal Enemies Whose Wish Is Peace

Submitted by Josephus on Wed, 2013-05-22 05:30

I surrender my Faith to your protection...

Your Faith is as an honored guest in my home...

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Is the internal logic consistent?
Editing stage: 
Not actively editing

Comments

Dalton

Wed, 2013-05-22 13:30

An interesting start to a poem but I was expecting more of it.

John

Ian.T

Thu, 2013-05-23 18:56

Ian.T's picture
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As Dalton has said, the talk between the two should be more binding if both wanted peace, there is a quandary here.
They should both have talked about the person and not the beliefs ether of them had, it would have made more of an acceptance..
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Dalton

Thu, 2013-05-23 20:21

I liked what you wrote. Maybe Ian T. gave it more thought than I did. I just thought the "poem" was too short I wanted more. Just my opinion

John

Ian.T

Fri, 2013-05-24 03:18

Ian.T's picture
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It is a Zulu greeting to another, They just say "I see you"
This greeting in its simplicity means a lot to the two that are meeting.
In those three words they totally accept the other person.
I might be corrected here but I have always accepted it so,
It was really good to be greeted in such a way,
Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Dalton

Thu, 2013-07-25 15:52

I still think this is a strong piece handled well. It has the feel of ancient wisdom. That sounds bad but you know what I mean. Still leaves me with a thirst for more.

John

scribbler

Thu, 2013-07-25 22:47

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I might be reading more into this than is here but it sounds like a Muslim who has immagrated to America where he knows he is safe practicing his religion.................stan

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