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To Make it Brief

Submitted by Rula on Tue, 2013-04-30 07:56

If you're an adult
or a child,
 civilized or
living in the wild,
let mother nature
guide, nurture and lead,
then all you need
is to imitate
what she would
naturally
 illustrate.

God has always
educated mothers
  what they need
 to educate. 

Last few words: 
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Geezer

Tue, 2013-04-30 19:02

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and a couple of more verses and you would have a good conservationist rap! No joke, it reads well as a rap!
You might want to work on it a little more, but keep the same rhythm, I like it. ~ Geezer

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Rula

Wed, 2013-05-01 05:02

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Not so sure how to add that chorus, wish you've set an example but I am
so grateful that you've pointed out that it needed some verses to add. I think
it was so brief to convey my message.
Now, I am really satisfied with what I did. Hope you're too.
Thank you.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

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author comment

Rula

Wed, 2013-05-01 05:07

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I liked the idea of the audiance . I might consider it in one of
my coming writings yet I hadn't the intention to have any in this piece.
However, this doesn't say that I didn't highly appreciate your feedback.
Thanks for your thoughts.

❤❤❤❤❤❤

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words
........Robert Frost☺

Please follow me on Instagram
https://instagram.com/poetry.jo?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

author comment
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