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Misfit

He dodges labels, left and right
avoiding  conformity, 
with every fibre. 

He rails against authority,
sticks two fingers up at society,
he has autonomy.

 A member of humanity,
longing to lose his membership.
He craves freedom from the insanity.

A member of humanity,
but not just another statistic
He craves his right for anonymity

You won't pin him down 
he is elusive.
He is an anarchist.

A solitary soul,
a misfit by design.
He is anti conventional strife.    

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

I think you have found your niche, Lou. But isn't the title *Solitary*?

For some reason it reminds me of the Dos EqUis commercials on the *most interesting man in the world*.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1imLlJzcfY&NR=1

~

Thank you , I'll take a look at your link.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

This felt to me as if it was inspired in some part by the Julian Assange controversy, which is very much in the papers these days.

And then it reminded me of an individual back when I was an Architecture student, who also took great care and pride in his "Social Misfit" status: a good designer who delighted in thumbing his nose at his professors and who ended up needing 7 years to get through a 5 year course.

Psyve

I'm afraid i'm not that smart LOL ! There's no connection to the Julian Assange debacle.

It is just a subject that appeals to me, and an aspiration of mine.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I always like your poems.

LOads of love

Mand xxxxxx

Thanks, i'm glad you like them.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Good poem,

A member of humanity,
longing to lose his membership.
He craves freedom from the insanity.

makes me think he is suicidal. It reminds me of an old boyfriend who was very self-destructive. And highly intelligent.

Merry Christmas to you.

love, Cat

*
When someone reads your work
And responds, please be courteous
And reply in kind, thanks.

I'm glad you liked it, the person is fictional.

Hope you have a good Xmas.

love lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

that it is a fictional person. [Two] fingers? Must be really pissed! A two fisted finger flinger! Really good work, gives great images. ~ Love ya, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

when we are unconventional, is when we are at our best. why be corraled like cattle, when we know the ways of the free spirit that lives waiting for its escape. And escape you have!!
So fly and do not let yourself be anchored to the dream life of the world for it is only a fog.
Always Eddie

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I am not the person in the poem, because I am a female, but we all strive for freedom.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

I know your a female, but I am one that does not look at your sex but at what you accomplish as a person. I only see the freedom you have conveyed in this write and how because of your indiviualism the world see you as a misfit. I say Bravo to you.
again I know your a female. and still I say respect to you!!
Always Eddie

(we are all Gods/Goddess of our own heaven, and those that don't see it then this is their hell)

LIFE ISN'T ABOUT WAITING FOR THE STORM TO PASS
IT'S ABOUT LEARNING HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN.
VIVIAN GREENE

I'm glad you know I'm female, my name has proved confusing for some LOL

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

I was surprised you called it 'misfit'...surely 'Hooded Stranger' would have been a better title!! Lol!

Loved this piece, although the middle part, which could be considered a chorus would need tightening up if it is a chorus.

That said, loved it!

HS

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With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

I considered calling it Hooded Stranger, but I didn't want to give you a swollen head LOL

I'm really happy that you like it so much.

p.s How would you tighten the chorus ?

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment

Lou,

I can handle a swollen head!!

Chorus:

A member of humanity,
longing to lose his membership.
He craves freedom from the insanity.

A member of humanity,
but not just another statistic
He craves his right for anonymity.

The line with 'statistic ' felt too long so it needed to be shortened to keep in better meter with the first chorus. The last line of second chorus needed to be longer to keep in same meter as last line of the first chorus. My versions are done quickly as it is 1pm on Xmas day and I have had one too many Jack Daniels, but hopefully my ideas give the idea of what needed changing.

regards,

HS

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Workshops are now open:
http://new.neopoet.com/workshop/find
--------------
With all that I am and all that I could be, I walk this earth, yet nobody sees me.

The Jack Daniels don't seem to have hampered you lol !

Thanks mate.

Lou

Stand tall, be proud to be who you are, give the world the finger!!!!

author comment
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