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NO MORE RIBBONS
No reprieve, no second chance
No turning back to do, undo
Time has passed her by
Without a glance
Life unfair, left in despair, no more ribbons in her hair
What had been grace and beauty
Now turned to songs unsung
And no one there to listen or to care
Fading flowers, empty hours
Potential unmet, doors now shut
Empty dreams o'er which to grieve
Life once sweet, now turned to wine that soured
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Texas
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rethinking this. have recently started reading the works of some of the greats, I will comment later
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Comments
scribbler
Tue, 2013-04-02 10:24
Hi Linda
Long time bo read lol. What a bitter-sweet poem. I expect we all feel this way at times.Only suggestion I have on poem is to use something other than "potential" in last stanza. For some reason that doesn't seem to fit althought it's explicit. Maybe "promise"?...............stan
Linda Moses
Wed, 2013-04-03 14:36
Hi, Stan
Nice to hear from you. This is a write about my Mother. She's been gone a while, now. One of those impropto things I will try another word for potential. Thanks for the suggestion.
Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
author commentIan.T
Tue, 2013-04-02 19:13
Lida
Long time No read, welcome home young Lady, just a few niggles in this piece:-
Fading flowers, empty hours
Doors now shut, FEELINGS unmet (Or something like that )
Empty dreams on which to grieve (On maybe )
Life once sweet, now made of wine that soured
Great to see you back have missed your works, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Linda Moses
Wed, 2013-04-03 14:41
Hey, Ian
thank you for reading and commenting. If Mom where here, she would object, and correct what she felt needed changing. English major, you know. They are rough to get by. Will go over poem with you suggestions in mind; Thanks, Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
author commentwesley snow
Tue, 2013-04-02 20:28
This is your first for me.
Hi.
I liked it very much. The internal rhyme pleases me and I'm afraid I didn't have a problem with potential as Stan did. Therefore, nothing to suggest except... in the second to last line- is "ore" a typo or am I missing something?
Please don't take offense at my nit picking over spelling. I do it to everyone in hopes they will do it for me.
A haunting little poem... um, welcome back?
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
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Linda Moses
Wed, 2013-04-03 14:45
Hello, Wes
The or"e used I thought might be a short way of saying "over", although I admit I was unsure when I used it. You are not "picking". I appreciate your comments. Thanks so much.
Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
author commentscribbler
Wed, 2013-04-03 17:30
i linda
i think the contraction you seek is o're...........stan
wesley snow
Wed, 2013-04-03 18:46
Actually...
... the contraction is "o'er". We simply eliminate the "v".
W. H. Snow
A poet is a nightingale, who sits in darkness and sings to cheer its own solitude with sweet sounds. Percy Bysshe Shelley
Learn how, teach others.
The NeoPoet Mentor Program
http://www.neopoet.com/mentor/about
Linda Moses
Wed, 2013-04-03 19:35
Wes
Just read you discussion on sing song poetry., which is exactly how I got through college. Linda
He who conquers self , has won a great battle
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