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Symphony in the Stars

Submitted by Seren on Mon, 2013-04-01 07:01

Echoes rebounding
on walls of night mist
floating on sound
not to be missed

A concerto infused
glistened in stars
notes hanging gently
cradled in bars

Mythical muse
transcribing the sheet
floats into them
softly they meet

A Soprano pure heart
keening a sorrow
wrung from the strings
no wish for tomorrow

Merging their souls
vibrating as one
this rhythm has beat
no need for the drum

Majestic wavelets
soothing the soul
wanting for nothing
but a musical scroll

Lodestar to fifths
vitulas pure form
builds to crescendo
bowed in pure storm.

Wreathed in dripped tears
cried from their love
wrung in the music
reigned from above

Stretched out at length
to its final ascend
sound has now found its
refrain to transcend

Euphoria the silence
that levels the night
wings striking softly
in musical flight

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Ian.T

Mon, 2013-04-01 09:21

Ian.T's picture
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This is one of your best, it read smoothly and drew pictures in both colour and sound..A beautiful write..
Take care and just know that the words are there for you always,
you just have to look with poetic eyes..
Yours as always Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Seren

Tue, 2013-04-02 03:23

Seren's picture

Thanks for the read and the comment I am very happy you liked this one, I really took this one apart and put it back together I am glad that it worked for you

love always Jayne-Chloe xxx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

Geezer

Mon, 2013-04-01 21:50

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as the birth of a song or piece of music. I loved the rhyme and rythm of this one. Very sing-song, but easy to read and feel. I heard the notes as they were played and felt the wash of pleasure as they coalesced into a whole piece. Just one little niggle. i thought that the first line was a tad unwieldy. How about; "Echoes rebounding", instead of "Echoes that rebound"? Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

It seems that the days and hours that people
are available for chatroom are staggered and
not a good match for most everyone. How about
if everyone just shows up at the door, whenever
they have a few free minutes?

Seren

Tue, 2013-04-02 03:29

Seren's picture

I like your suggestion and I will put it in when I do an edit thanks for the read and the comment its much appreciate it, talk to you later

love and higgliest bugs Jayne-Chloe

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

author comment

loved

Tue, 2013-04-02 11:22

loved's picture

this my first epicurial kind
which I read from top to toe
and I wanted you to know ...
loveliest poetry you sow ...
seeds of future generic poems
which we all ought to know

loved

Seren

Sat, 2013-04-06 04:32

Seren's picture

thank you for the time and the comment, I noticed your message will get back to you shortly, I appreciate the visit

love Jayne-Chloe xx

("Always and Forever") - (Never lose a holy curiosity.-Albert Einstein)

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