Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

...........................fete......................................

underneath the quiet hiss
a velvet murmer
kiss

violet persona
lands crystal perfection
melting like a tear

pure flake
a jewel ball
to delve

a place of haunt
to dwell

Editing stage: 

Comments

Although the voice of the poem is delicate and precise I am still lft wondering what is the theme of the poem.
I understand this is a work in progress so might I suggest that you keep what you have so far whch is quite melodic but flesh out its meaning- even a hint wold help else your poem is like a string of pretty beads and that is all. I really an sorry but I have tried. Fete to me is some kind of feast but that doesn't help. Do not worry it is perhaps more than likely me that is at fault.

Thank You for the crit.. sometimes ideas...thoughts ...poems are pretty beads.
like walking in the mall and a pretty girl catchs an eye for a second...
an overheard random conversation that is interesting passed by..
In the walks a bird arcing overhead speaking its language
its great black oiled wings making a hush in its rush

Fete is a celebration sometimes accompanied with a feast
Its a joyous celebration with the sense and appetite

If this left you hungry for more meaning then perhaps this
is not truly a Fete..but a Feh!

thank You..

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.