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Anticipating...

Submitted by Geezer on Sun, 2013-03-17 18:46

Listen to the silence
Waiting for the key
My ear is tuned to hear you
Your’s to hearing me

Your step is light, most quiet
My eye searching all around
I hear your comfort-voice
Heart-volume at full pound

Work all day anticipating
It doesn’t matter what you say
Zoning out, no content
I’ve been waiting all the day

Home at last from all the horror
The killing and the death
Cheating, lying scum
It stinks, I hold my breath

Guess a Killer’s work
Just can never be all done
I get wearied, oh so tired
It used to be such fun

Right now, the smell of dinner
Cooking in the pot so slow
Beckons, calls my stomach
Says; I’m delicious, don’t you know?

Sweet Missus Killer hugs me
Asks; How was your day?
Wonders how I’m tired
When it’s just slay and play

I tell her stories of the job
She listens; half asleep
I ask about her hours
She says, that they just creep

Until the time I’m home
She putters ‘round the place
Tells me that she misses me
Can’t wait to see my face

Here’s the meat for tomorrow dear
I remembered, put it all on ice
Dark meat of would-be robber
His manner wasn’t nice

We can cook him for Sunday dinner
Have some carrots and some taters
Applesauce and peas
Honey eyeballs for a little later

I’m so glad that I have you here
To make my day complete
Something to look forward to
More than just a meal to eat

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

Esker

Sun, 2013-03-17 22:27

Esker's picture

and its slow pace make this a great poem
Its more focused
not a jive rush like some before
(well written those)

but this one is like a setting
a movement from scene and
thought and feeling

my fave line or parapgraph is this one

"I get wearied..oh so tired.
It used to be such fun"

fantastic writing Gee!

Thank You!

Geezer

Tue, 2013-03-19 01:15

Geezer's picture
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to give the human side to the story. I know that people don't like to think of someone who kills in such vicious ways as being human; but remember that we are human first, as the comment below says. He is right in saying that people live right next-door to serial-killers and never know. [John Wayne Gacy]. Sometimes it is hard to maintain the passion that stirred the heart in the beginning, hence the "I get wearied...oh so tired, it used to be such fun." Like my wife said when I told her that she should open a restraunt: " If I have to do it, then it isn't as much fun, and I get tired of it." Not having anyone else other than myself to blame for Killer, I figured that I could use the routine of a normal day with my wife and myself to illustrate the scene. Thanks for the kudos, ~ Gee

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author comment

Ian.T

Mon, 2013-03-18 04:53

Ian.T's picture
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You have now made Killer a feeling soul, that has a purpose in life and a love at home.
This will now give his spree's a depth of being, but I am not sure now who to trust, is it that mild guy next door who goes out to work each day and sometimes works overtime ????
This is very typical of the world when people say "I lived next door to him for years are you sure it was him that killed all those people"
A perspective of how much we know about even our next door
nieghbor, well that typifies the world we live in lol.
Loved this write, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

Geezer

Tue, 2013-03-19 01:30

Geezer's picture
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that this write struck your fancy. Killer has always been the kind of guy that was physically imposing, but his manner is usually mild. You really have to be a bad person for him to want you dead. There are things that really tick him off though. Then his anger-managment classes fail him. I suppose that this one should have probably been moth-balled until Killer decides to settle down and get married. But it just got going and I couldn't stop it. Kinda Killer-like, huh? I guess that this could be a glimpse of Killer in his golden years, lol. ~ Gee

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Roscoe Lane

Mon, 2013-03-18 05:00

Roscoe Lane's picture

Old killer loves his veg, but he also gets at least five a week as well. Good one again. Regards Roscoe..

Roscoe Llane,

Religion will rip your faith off, and return
for the mask of disbelief that's left.

Geezer

Tue, 2013-03-19 01:40

Geezer's picture
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Old Killer does love his veggies but, he is mostly a meat and potatoes kinda guy. Is that a picture of your dog? Is it a Belgian Shepard? I used to have a Belgian Shepard/Black Lab. mix. Glad you are still following Killer's exploits. Good to see you. ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment

Seren

Tue, 2013-04-02 03:44

Seren's picture

You have given Killer a human face his wife and his 'feelings' have made him that little bit more real, I want to know more about Missus Killer I want to know what sort of woman cooks her husbands kills ;) he he another great killer poem I thoroughly enjoyed the read

love and higgliest bugs Jayne-Chloe xxx

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats

Geezer

Tue, 2013-04-02 06:53

Geezer's picture
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wasn't going to be posted yet, because I kinda wanted to hold it back for Killer's old age. LOL
My wife has friend at heart re-hab, that has lead very sheltered life, but she wanted to show him Killer works, so I consented to letting him read this one. She thinks it funny and has great laughs when she shows my Killer poems to people. Anyways, I will be editing and rearranging the sequence of them all to kinda make sense of his time-line. Glad to see that Killer's fans like him as a family man. Hey, you never know who is living next door! Love and higgest bugs, ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

author comment
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