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The old pervert

The old codger sat
His hands in his lap
Waiting for pleasure
The moment to treasure
When Constance walked by
No stockings or tights
And he could expose
And see how she froze
When she saw his red flesh
Which he firmly pressed
Tween thumb and forefinger
In order to bring her
Alert to his action
asking for reaction
Showing she had seen him
Throbbing pulsating
His fingers gyrating
Juices escaping
in the back of the bus

Review Request (Direction): 
What did you think of my title?
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
Last few words: 
A Philippine nurse ( Constance) said this happened to her on a London bus!
Editing stage: 

Comments

a public presentation
and what self enjoyment
no exhilaration
public fuckin....... open nuisance
your enlightenment! wow what a
phobic presentation....
still my salutation
remission for this emission
meant submission

loved

loved's comment as funny as I found frenchf's poem. Maybe that says something about me and/or my sense of humour. I don't know. There are plenty of crazy people out there and unless they are dangerous, I just laugh at them. Maybe I'm crazy? ~ Gee

There is value to commenting and critique, tell us how you feel about our work.
This must be the place, 'cause there ain't no place like this place anywhere near this place.

that guy ...
Frenchy F
or
I??

if all in what
order...
views of all will give life
to this hopefully imagined
episode

loved

And she got up and moved when she noticed but he had done a sort of 0 to 16 seconds. Fortunately as a nurse she just felt disgusted as she looks at bodies all day!

author comment

ere the next bus stop
all guys do
to satisfy ... xyz
if not self
a game guys play

loved

it has no poetic, aesthetic or meaningful value. It's not even funny, it's a crime and one that can be highly traumatising.

Loved's comments are as perverted as the public masturbator. Still spying on kids in the park, Loved?

Beau is right here and I'm surprised at you, Geezer, that must surely have been Killer talking.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

All that making it poetic, aesthetic or meaningful but factual ....yes!

author comment

angered by Loved and Geezer's comments.
Of course it does have poetic qualities, but poetry is not reporting.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

the last 2 lines are too graphic and subvert the satire.

Acceptable in polite society!

author comment

angered by Loved and Geezer's comments
should one get all comments approved
by all ...
so that they anger
none at all??
let's have our own minds at play
each one has a manner of ones own
at foreplay

loved

and our own feelings.

And a bit of human decency would not go astray (I include myself here, of course)

Frankly, my dear, you have often crossed the line into downright creepy in your poetry and comments.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

you'd like to
so have limited
my interaction here gradually
as others elsewhere
beckon me..

....''''''downright creepy in your poetry and comments.?????'''''

you should and MUST point it out to me
a dwarfed mind
will listen to thee
and obliterate it willingly....

loved

it implies a tacit approval of public masturbation as a male thing.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

I did also experience a similar situation
decades ago
hence tis so

shall remove it if FR says so..
her page we r not entitled to
sex rage..

loved

interfering with the appreciation of a poet's work and I apologise for it here.. Your work I do appreciate,.
though I must say this, as mentioned before, is little more than reporting. How about some insight into the emotional impact on your friend, it is not something lightly shrugged (or wiped) off. Or perhaps even an exploration of the nasty old pervert's mind? I've never understood the need for self-exposure, or any non-consensual sexual appetites. Perhaps you could shed some light?

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

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