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Irrational Man
she's lickably luscious
delectably plump
laced in skimp and lotions
my senses and notions
in mental commotion
floundering, reckless
in churning emotion
then,
that 'come-hither' look
the hook
the crook
and so I took
a ravenous
bite
god, I hope she's not poisonous
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
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Comments
Ian.T
Wed, 2013-02-20 11:21
BL
Your actions aren't irrational sounds good to me but are you sure it's a girl.??????? Trying to figure out what else it could be lol. Good Write there, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
brittle light
Wed, 2013-02-20 14:49
I. T
Positively , absolutely sure she was all woman
the trepidation and Irrational aspect comes from
emotion overpowering rational thought;
Me, or any a man or woman, overwhelmed by sexual seduction
discounting concern for the consequences until after the fact!
a reckless game of Russian roulette these days, probably always was
be careful out there
Good to hear from you again. You are a major player on this site...keeping it active and engaging
thanks for all you do
Al
Ian.T
Wed, 2013-02-20 15:23
Al
Sorry I didn't use your name, I had memory failure lol
Glad it was a woman you were writing about, now I will have to read it again lol The excitement when I thought you were talking about peaches.
Probably not her name lol.
Take care Al and thanks for your presence here also, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Frenchf
Thu, 2013-02-21 07:39
I really liked this
deascription of your giving in to the moment and throwing caution to the winds and then wondering what you'd done
brittle light
Fri, 2013-02-22 08:21
and I like your synopsis,
and I like your synopsis, you gots it
thank you
Al
weirdelf
Fri, 2013-02-22 17:04
Great use of language.
The content is strong and has a subtest both scary and profound.
Bloody well done.
cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry
brittle light
Fri, 2013-03-01 13:49
thanks
it is satisfying when a piece works in a utilitarian way, as well as artistcally.
Al