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The Scapegoat in the Mirror

Submitted by docmaverick on Wed, 2013-02-27 21:22

The being that is you, inside

is finally just getting, here;

the one you need
to blame is greed

not, this scapegoat in the mirror.

This shadow of your more, pensive self

allows the both of you, to have a beer;

but, too much malt
will have you both, blame, fault

on an innocent, scapegoat in the mirror.

Neither one of you, will ever learn

for reasons still, unclear;

as far as I can see
you took the wrong, journey;

when you chose, to blame that scapegoat, in the mirror.

From all of the mental junkfood

to everything that you hold, dear;

don't get too, proud
you're not at all, allowed;

your dues were paid by this scapegoat, in the mirror.

You need to gain some principals

to which you can easily, adhere;

then every version of you
can join this, elite club, too;

by being forgiven by that scapegoat, in the mirror !

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Review Request (Direction): 
How was my language use?
How does this theme appeal to you?
How was the beginning/ending of the poem?
Last few words: 
I re-worked this little ditty, 'til rather late. Was trying to make the lmost invisible "point" that, there usually will come a time when, we've got to...."break down"...and finally, forgive ourselves. soo....I, digress; doc.
Editing stage: 
Editing - polished draft

Comments

docmaverick

Fri, 2013-03-01 06:47

docmaverick's picture

...is ths any better?
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2013-03-01 03:37

weirdelf's picture
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too much space, cedillas, decoration and commas.

However the message is strong. Accountability and self-forgiveness. Truly valuable concepts.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

docmaverick

Fri, 2013-03-01 06:50

docmaverick's picture

...have I helped, or made it, worse?
doc.

Neopoet is "newtriffic" !
...from the heart, or a reasonable faxcimile;
david a. goodwin #{:>{)} @==

author comment

weirdelf

Fri, 2013-03-01 06:58

weirdelf's picture
Volunteer badge

Maybe I should stop hassling you about the excessive commas, they seem to work for you, but I just can't see why. Perhaps my failing.

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

Esker

Fri, 2013-03-01 10:40

Esker's picture

narcsism
and the new digital cameras
we create now

when before we searched

this is a good poem for taking
a second look
at the real reflection we are
throwing in the view

not just our perceptions we are
seeing

I remember van gogh and his
mental condition
the many images he painted of
himself undoubtedly via mirror

external via internal

like living a myth
its just a reflection
an echo given out

Thank You

Frenchf

Sat, 2013-03-02 17:54

But most often we look to blame others not ourselves. It may help if we blame a mirror image

Esker

Sat, 2013-03-02 19:10

Esker's picture

"Kurt" Blamed the society that created him..
The Horror The horror the horror
but first he did blame others too

its just easier I guess and automatic function of our reptilian
brain...

interesting thought....
I must ask myself when I see my reflection again...

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