Join the Neopoet online poetry workshop and community to improve as a writer, meet fellow poets, and showcase your work. Sign up, submit your poetry, and get started.

Autumn Sonnet

Autumn Sonnet

I hate to see the woodlands flirt
In Mother Nature's annual farce.
Trees coyly lift and shake their skirts
Leave old, dead leaves to litter grass

She KNOWS the frost and snow will come.
She KNOWS the weak and old will die
But still she thinks we are so dumb,
Again we'll seek pie in the sky.

And so this weary, unloved year,
Wends on towards its death, Goodbye.
And autumn will not warm nor cheer,
It is no beacon in the sky.

For Autumn means no more to me,
Than dying leaves blown from a tree.

Style / type: 
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 

Comments

Not sure why this one has been left behind but I liked the persistence in the frame of mind that this seems to be built on, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

roll on spring! thanks , Ian, glad you liked it

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

I tried a new first verse. What do you think?
Thanks for the input

Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment

Apposite, the trees revealing their woodiness. Your work is changing man, have you changed muses, or trained your old one better? You are achieving the most difficult task of combining humour with message.

My only personal peeve is the caps in KNOWS. If you really must emphasise it with form perhaps italics. Select Advanced formatting, select the word and press Ctrl I

cheers,
Jess
A new workshop on the most important element of poetry-
'Rhythm and Meter in Poetry'
https://www.neopoet.com/workshop/rhythm-and-meter-poetry

You really have the knack of combining two more difficult tasks, that of encouragement and education. For that I am deeply in your debt. My muse and I have our differences from time to time, but she is much smaller than I and easily bullied.
Regards
Ian

TIME FLIES LIKE AN ARROW, BUT FRUIT FLIES LIKE A BANANA

author comment
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.