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...About this death thing

Submitted by brittle light on Tue, 2013-02-19 04:27

...I

hi-yo
oh! motion motor
plunge forth
onto Omega

keep 'em rollin'
onward ho!
to Omega
all must go

....II

it creeps through the night
a deathhold
set to strike

suppress the scream

the sky too dark
too bold
too ever stabbing cold

even a single sigh
heaved high into the mighty, falls
awkwardly
backward
inward
shattering the frozen calm of acceptance

.....III

weak kneed and mumbling
memories shorn
a soul numbing ride
in a body out worn

no heralding parade
nor heroic song
just finished,
forsaken
the finale...forlorn

at sight of the gate
good as dead within
I plead..."please sir,
may I go 'round again"

......IV

I live a teensy life
full of used to's and no more's
now, disavowing daylight
roaming empty daydreams
baby talking to my cats

when finally, I fully evaporate
will anyone notice?
just wondering
I'm not worried
...except for the cats

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - draft

Comments

judyanne

Tue, 2013-02-19 11:46

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especially part 1V
'I live a teensy life
full of used to's and no more's
now, disavowing daylight
roaming empty daydreams
baby talking to my cats

when finally, I fully evaporate
will anyone notice?
just wondering
I'm not worried
...except for the cats

one litle thing
'no hearlding parade' ( ?typo - 'heralding')

a little different from your usual al
i 'enjoyed' the melancholy - lol - i know that feeling well
'a teensy life
full of used to's and no more's'

nothing to suggest
a great write imo
love judy
xxx

'Each for the joy of the working, and each, in his separate star,
shall draw the Thing as he sees It, for the God of Things as They are.'
(Rudyard Kipling)

brittle light

Wed, 2013-02-20 09:36

brittle light's picture

you are always so kind and complimentary...thank you for that disposition.

I always think it funny as I read others' works in my own accent, then remembering how surprised I would be if I heard them in the different accents of the writers i.e. you, western australian, jess from Sydney (I think), jane-chloe, crytic bard, jenifer james from all parts of down under, or the Brits, and Ann of Norway , even stan, beau, and richard the moonman from the Carolinas... the south usa...thick in southern drawl!

Just a thought, nothing to do with your comments. I guess I felt like talking today. You inspire me.

thank you for the visit and comments

Al

author comment

Geezer

Tue, 2013-02-19 18:47

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sound like Rice Crispies in getting out of bed or when we have sat too long, or we can't ' run ' down to the store,
and we can hardly lift our leg to tie our shoes, we just get plain dejected ! Nice one! ~ Gee

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brittle light

Wed, 2013-02-20 09:54

brittle light's picture

moan and groan three or four times a night
shuffling to the bathroom,
having to spend twice as much time remembering someting that wasn't woth remembering in the first place
etc....etc....etc....

thanks for stopping in

Al

author comment

Ian.T

Wed, 2013-02-20 18:27

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From Alpha to Omega, one journey that we all make no matter what,
Do we ever reach Omega or is it just a corner in our journey?
Is it something just out of reach, until that moment of being twix two worlds, where there is a fear of having been, and a bigger fear of having to let go.
The letting go is the main fear we hold, a dread of taking that step into what??
If we do find out and then need to talk to others, many things stream past, from faith, to a deep laugh of, "A madness has taken you" from sceptics.
I have over the past few years had over two hundred hours of talking to another place.
All my talks are recorded, some are as clear as talking to another person as they are, other pieces of talking in another tongue.
Then there are the times of talking to that beautiful place where the Spirit has not learned to speak so well or they are too young to use lots of words.
They all have names and the ones in the group I talk to are from many differing backgrounds.
Then there are hours of talking to the one Spirit, that is our guide to their world, she is an old Spirit but appears as a twelve year old, as one of the tasks she does is rescue children that are lost and confused, you will often see my reference to "Sadie"..
It is so hard to talk to others of them, as you can guess but they miss such a lot, and over the last few years I have gained a mass of information from them,I know what is round that corner and many a time the friends I have there have been out and about helping others here.
That will do for now as there are many that will just say Oh not that again, which is their loss..
Some of my poetry reflects those I talk to, and have been told that I can write about them and where they are without the help of the group.
I will close now as this is supposed to be a comment on your veruy good write, Yours Ian.T

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There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

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