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Memento Vivere
When we’re old and decaying
And our souls set free
Our limbs will become trees
And from out those trees
Our fingers form leaves
And from out our mouths
Sprout words,
That will form into birds
And these birds will fly
To the peak of the sky
And sing songs that ring
Immortal melodies
That sift through the breeze
Style / type:
Structured: Western
Review Request (Intensity):
I appreciate moderate constructive criticism
Last few words:
I'm still working on the end; it seems a little unfinished to me.
Editing stage:
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Comments
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-02-10 12:53
What a lovely way
To portray the nitrogen cycle and the change in energy forms
Shamoneness
Mon, 2013-02-11 11:12
Thank
you! ^^
Shamoneness
Mon, 2013-02-11 11:12
Thank
you so much! It would read more smoothly, but I chose to use "and" a lot to represent the continuity of things.
Amber
Ian.T
Mon, 2013-02-11 19:05
Amber
The cycle of all things we are portrayed as one facet that makes the whole. I liked this write and sorry I don't think I have read many of your pieces, this will be sorted tomorrow, as it is 00.00 at the moment. zzzzZZZ, Take care, and let the thoughts of the quiet, be your guide, Yours Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Shamoneness
Tue, 2013-02-12 13:23
Thank
you so much! :)
Amber
BlueDemon77
Sun, 2013-02-17 06:06
Beautiful writing
I believe as your poem suggests you do. In this wide universe I feel an atom or molecule in everything I encounter. I am a part of the whole and that gives great comfort. Deftly stated, I loved it.
Ron
Blue Demon77
"What I want is to be what I was before the knife,
before the brooch pin, before the salve, fixed me in this parenthesis:
Horses fluent in the wind. A place, a time gone out of mind."
The Eye Mote-Sylvia Plath
Shamoneness
Tue, 2013-02-19 22:51
Thank
you so much! :)