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Why wait ...
I waited for you
all my life
like the darkness
is my day
you are my planet
I'm just a moon
I love you
as certainly
I'll never
love again
These dark things
I shelter in my mind
fearing to reveal
and to lose control
You've asked me why
and repeatedly
how I love you
and when I fell
My only answer ?
I waited for you
all my life
Style / type:
Free verse
Review Request (Intensity):
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage:
(c) Neopoet.com. No copyright is claimed by Neopoet to original member content.
Comments
Nordic cloud
Sat, 2013-02-09 06:17
Dear Jayne, I liked this
Dear Jayne, I liked this twist, speaking in the past when its in the future.
I liked the simplicity of the message, it flows down like a thought
and has a tip like that of a grass straw with a dew drop on the end.
The only thing that seemed slightly illogical was the planet,
and the moon, as the moon isn't that also a planet? But on looking in Wik,
I find it has not yet been promoted to that category, so my thought is
wrong. I mention it, because it interested me .
Love Ann.
You'd think we lived on the moon here, its all so white!!
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Seren
Sat, 2013-02-09 07:15
Pure whiteness it sounds
Pure whiteness it sounds beautiful
Very glad you liked this one its a new one
Hmmmmm maybe instead of planet I could have earth
What do you think ?
Thanks for the read and comment
Love and hugs Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
loved
Sat, 2013-02-09 09:09
perhaps I may intervene
The Moon is the only natural ....satellite ....of the Earth,[d][7] and the fifth largest satellite in the Solar System
and
did you perhaps imply
lose.???. ...................................to loose control
i thought ....maybe I ain't right
Satellites go around planets
only the Zodiac made an exception ...
7500 years ago.. man made error
earth being a planet..
loved
Seren
Sat, 2013-02-09 09:17
Thanks for the heads up ! I
Thanks for the heads up ! I fixed that up
I must have been blind lol
I am just a moon smile
Love Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
loved
Sat, 2013-02-09 09:58
gratious
thanks
you are better we see
tc
only happy folks and moon can smile
you are one such smiler
loved
Seren
Sat, 2013-02-09 23:02
I am no better no worse lol
I am no better no worse lol
Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Nordic cloud
Sun, 2013-02-10 02:27
Earth is a planet,
Earth is a planet,
but I'm your moon would be good perhaps?
Love to you in the heat, I send you some cool,
with love of course! Ann.
"The image of yourself which you see in a mirror Is dead,
but the reflection of the moon on water, lives." Kenzan.
Seren
Sun, 2013-02-10 03:23
Hmmm that would work I will
Hmmm that would work I will edit on my return
Love to you in the white Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
sueb
Sat, 2013-02-09 09:13
lovely x
lovely x
Seren
Sat, 2013-02-09 09:20
Thanks Sue glad you liked it
Thanks Sue glad you liked it
Hugs Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Ian.T
Sun, 2013-02-10 03:04
Jayne
I would not change anything any more, as it is in its simplicity it says everything, grand write,
Yours as always Ian.T
.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..
Seren
Sun, 2013-02-10 03:25
Ian
I'm very happy you liked this one its new
Much appreciate the read and comment
Love Jc xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Seren
Thu, 2013-03-28 02:52
Thanks for the suggestion I
Thanks for the suggestion I plan to edit my poems over the next week or two I like your idea I will correct it when I edit
thanks for the read and lovely comment its much appreciated
love and hugs JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats
Frenchf
Sun, 2013-02-10 13:19
Lovely images
and waiting all your life for someone
That is special especially since you revealed what you have been through
Seren
Thu, 2013-03-28 02:55
Its all special and its all
Its all special and its all beautiful even the mundane I have been to hell and back a couple of times but there is always someone worse off ... so i celebrate the simple things
thanks for the read and the comment
love JC xxx
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.” — W.B. Yeats