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Another open eyed night

Submitted by themoonman on Fri, 2013-01-25 04:16

Lay me down in burning coals
I really need to sleep

America's war on a noun
justice is never guaranteed
ask the prisoners
at Guantanamo

Two weeks of the noun's budget
would feed every starving child
on Earth
and house the homeless here

then She'd be a leader

lay me down in burning coals
maybe then I'll sleep

Review Request (Intensity): 
I want the raw truth, feel free to knock me on my back
Editing stage: 
Editing - rough draft

Comments

themoonman

Fri, 2013-01-25 16:48

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funny you should pick the very thing I wasn't
happy with, it was " so I'll get some sleep" and
at the last second (while submitting) I changed
it to "to" ... I didn't like either but "to" seemed the
lesser of my unlikities (coined a new word, lol,
or not).

thank you eph, I did change it, I like it better now.

Richard

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Ian.T

Fri, 2013-01-25 09:50

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Like the piece, and at the same time Eph's suggestions.
I have always been told or was that way back some, that, Get and Got are weed words. Probably some damn poet told me, or my old English teacher have you heard of this ???.
It is a pity that the people who take the taxes cannot see the light and sort out the world peacefully.
Have a great day, Yours Ian.T

.
There are a million reasons to believe in yourself,
So find more reasons to believe in others..

themoonman

Fri, 2013-01-25 16:55

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I have indeed heard about "get and got", but they both
fall so easily from my old country self I hardly notice.

I suppose as long as man has the need to hate one
another we will always have wars, but it sure would be
nice to see a peaceful globe where we would all be
welcome everywhere, one can dream.

Richard

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scribbler

Fri, 2013-01-25 17:04

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This brought to mind an curse word I ran across in a science fiction book TANJ!....an acronymn for There Ain't No Justice.............................stan

themoonman

Tue, 2013-01-29 04:22

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Justice is really not a guarantee, sadly so.

thanks Stan

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